Looking in the mirror is the first thing I do when I get up in the morning. Today, I got the shock of my life, as I saw one white strand of hair! I was faced with the decision whether to pull it out or not. I decided not to.
And then, the question just had to present itself: Am I aging?
I must be in denial, yes. I don’t want to grow old. Not just yet. Time, be my friend…
Oh, but I must accept the fact that I’m not getting any younger. Before I know it, fine lines are going to make manifest on my face. Instead of buying myself a nice Equi Theme jacket and a funky pair of riding boots from an equestrian clearance sale, I’ll have to get me one of those anti-aging creams.
What’s so bad about aging, anyway? Sure, arthritis and episodes of dementia will set in, but that’s just how things go. Nobody stays young forever.
With age comes wisdom, they say. That’s true, I guess. Over the years, both the bitter and sweet events in my life have taught me important life lessons which have shaped me into the woman I am today.
But I must admit that I am afraid to grow old. Maybe it’s the uncertainty that comes with it. I fear about the future- my daughter’s future. I want her to live out her dreams, whatever they may be. If her fascination with the London 2012 Olympics is any indication, she may just end up being that equestrian I have always wanted to be.
I fear about my future. I don’t want to grow old alone. I do long for a lifetime partner to grow old and hold hands with on the front porch while sipping tea and listening to 80’s music.
This is where faith has to come in. I should have faith in God, in the future, and in myself. If I learn to trust Him, I shouldn’t be so afraid of what will happen. I’m in good hands.