5 Things a Single Mom Forgets

Back in the day, Kermit the Frog used to sing a little ditty called “It’s not easy being green…”  Because my singing voice closely resembles his, I will sing my own version of his song, changing the words to “It’s not easy being a single mom…”

I’m sure most if not all of you will agree with me on that.  Show me someone who thinks otherwise, and I’ll punch him or her in the face with all my might.  As we all know, parenting is no walk in the park.  What makes it even more difficult is going at it solo.

Having said that, it comes as no surprise that all the responsibilities single moms juggle in the air, day in day out, are starting to take their toll on her memory.  The single mom’s hippocampus is greatly affected by all the things she has to prioritize, mostly her kids.  What are the things that you as a single mom tend to forget?

That you do not possess superhuman strength.  Because of the absence of a male figure in the household, you are left with no choice but to give in to your kid’s demands for a piggy back ride.  Roughhousing is something kids love to engage in, and that’s perfectly healthy for them, but when you have a bad back, it doesn’t become too healthy for you.  You often forget that you have curves, and not muscles.

To comb your hair.  This is another indication of our instinct to put our kids’ needs above ours.  Either that, or you simply couldn’t find your comb.  Since you’re the only parent in the house, there’s nobody else to give you an extra hand in getting your kids ready for an outing.  You tend to put your kids’ grooming needs above yours, so you often leave the house with your kid looking like a fashionista, while you’re left eating the trail of dust behind her.

That you deserve to have fun.  Fun doesn’t always mean feeding rabbits at the zoo or playing UNO with your kid.  You do need to break free from the mommy cycle once in a while, for your sanity’s sake.  Get in touch with old friends, have a few drinks (FEW is the operative word here!), and just chill.  Whatever your idea of fun is, don’t be afraid to indulge yourself.  You deserve it for all the hard parenting stuff you do.

That it’s ok for you to make mistakes.  Kids don’t come with a manual, so it’s perfectly alright if we feel we sometimes fail at parenting.  It is a skill we learn, the more we do it.  That reality allows us parents, single moms most especially, to make some mistakes along the way.

That it’s ok for your kid to make mistakes.  Kids will be kids.  They are not perfect.  They will test your patience on most occasions, and you should just grin and bear it, or teach them a lesson or two.

We single moms are thrust into this single parenting abyss, barely knowing how to survive.  We learn as we go along, and we are lucky to still be afloat.  Let’s just try to remember the things we often forget.

 

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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Comments

  1. I swear, I can relate to what you post … thank you for reminding about #4 and #5.

  2. weeeeeee..sis I have always to be reminded of being a superwoman..wahhhhhh..I always get sick..two angels so pagod but happy being a mom..

    but sis..I always comb my hair see oh..that’s one way of rewarding myself I go to a salon to make myself beautiful for quite angel..I am telling this because I know he will be reading this hehehe..

    truelaloooo sistah..being a single parent is a big responsibility but always rewarding when you see your kids smiling and growing with the proper care and love that they deserve :)

    • one way of rewarding ourselves sis is to treat ourselves and for me making myself beautiful at least gives me confidence and enjoy life..but not yung magastos naman noh..being a parent to my kids even financially will always be my priority..di ba sistah :)

      *hugs*

      • I keep forgetting to reward myself hehe. Or maybe, I just don’t have enough money to treat myself to a salon visit.

  3. i don’t comb my hair that much haha,
    http://momdaughterstyle.blogspot.com/

  4. Yup, I can relate to all. Well done. I think an important number six is we can’t do this alone. Whether that calls for help physically or emotionally.

    I am the Miss Piggy to your Kermit. Let’s go on the road!

  5. I do agree. I know someone who has those qualities except that no-combing thing. hehe!
    Let me just add to few things i believe single moms possess but often forget:
    One, she is always beautiful..to her children’s eyes and to those who loves her.
    Two, she is the best cook.
    Three, she is stronger than any man.
    Four, no award is best enough to recognize her powers.
    All the other facts are said by you and other commentors here.
    Congratulations dear mommy!

  6. Simple statements but true. I’m proud of single moms who sustain their kids alone.

    Sometimes you have to pamper yourself also even at the smallest extra time as possible. Being a single mom needs a lot energy to do living tasks for yourself and also for your kids, so you need to energize if you are exhausted.

  7. And throwing her in the air.. tried it because all babies should be thrown into the air, no.. well my back! lol.

  8. Except for that last one, I would say that this list is something that EVERY woman can forget once in a while – myself included! That’s why I always keep an extra comb in my bag… Just in case ;)

    Rosie

  9. being single at 34, ive always wanted to have my own baby even if it takes to be a single mom. no offense meant and dont get me wrong but even if im not a parent myself, i pretty do understand well the responsibility and commitment someone has to have for him or her to be a good parent. i know a lot of couples personally having a hard time raising their kids (in all aspects) so I somehow realized, being a single parent is doubling all the tasks…

    even when i was on my early 20’s and had a bf, i planned to be single for the rest of my life but with a child. however as i grow older, though the dream of becoming a parent is still there but the idea scares me. i ask questions like would i be able to raise him/her very well on my own…

    truthfully, i’d planned artificial insemination a month ago which had already received a blessing from my own mother but my brother the priest disapproves of it…

    i hope, pray and wish with all my heart to be blessed one day with my own precious little one(s)…

    • I’m sure it will happen for you when the right time comes. We all have our fears, but if you do get your wish, I’m sure you’ll be a fine mother :)

  10. “That you deserve to have fun” it’s just about me, the first year after childbirth, I do not rest …. friends came to visit me, but it was the four walls of home

  11. wahhh I tend to forget to comb my hair! every single day LOL

  12. Hi Pepper,

    I don’t know but everytime I come across a fellow single mom who blogs I feel the need to drop a comment. Found yours by accident sorry can’t remember where I “found” yours (darn, C-Section has really made me forgetful). Reading your posts really feels like home. I’m a single parent too and I recently went back to blogging after a long hiatus. I had to smile when I read about us sometimes forgetting to comb our hair. Good thing my daughter has learned to do it for me. hehehe keep writing, I’m following your blog now. Love, courage and strength to you! Oh by the way I’m Lany aka Ina-Tay. :)

    • Hi Lany! haha, I had a C-section too, so believe me, I understand :). thanks for adding me to your blogroll. I’ll add yours to mine as well :)
      I think it’s clever how you coined the term “inatay” :)

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