For some women, parenthood is a milestone they can’t wait to reach. If you’ve ever seen a cute baby, then you’ll know exactly why! Although having children is wonderful, it can be very hard work for an inexperienced woman. Before trying for babies, it’s important to think about the connotations, and how ready you are. Here are some important questions to ask yourself.
What were my parent’s successes and failures?
Let’s face it, there’s no such thing as the perfect parent. Even though your folks probably did a great job at raising you, there must have been one or two things they could have done better. When you have kids, as much as the idea might shock you, you’re going to make a few mistakes as well. I’m not talking about the times you stormed to your room in the height of puberty; that’s just part of growing up. You should be more wary of things that were actually harmful to your development. Were your parents hostile to a hobby or interest you had? Did they call you cruel names when they lost their temper? Did they hit you? While these things are often understandable, they’re not exactly helpful to the development of a healthy child.
Why do I want to have kids?
This is perhaps the most important question you can ask yourself before motherhood. The right answer is that you’re ready and excited to raise another human being. While this might be what you’re telling your friends and family, is it really true? Some people try for babies because they think it might mend a failing relationship. I’m not saying this has never happened, but more often than not the child becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back. If you have a kid with someone you don’t truly love, then there’ll be all kinds of problems you’ll have to work through further down the line. Children aren’t pets or commodities; they’re human beings. Before you take a single step towards parenthood, make sure your heart is in the right place.
Am I financially stable enough to have kids?
This might strike you as a bit of a callous question. True, people from all economic backgrounds have children all the time. However, having a child when you’re not financially ready for it can be a huge mistake. Raising a child from 0 to 20 will cost well over $300,000. If you’re struggling now, then get a handle on your personal finances. Start saving more, consolidate credit cards and erase other debts. Then, start living as if you really had another person to feed and clothe. I hate to tell you this, but most of your leisure activities may have to halt there and then. If you feel you can live like this comfortably, then you may be ready. If not, give it another year.
There you have just three important considerations before having kids. The job of being a mother isn’t easy. Take it from me though, it’s more rewarding than any career!