It’s videoke night tomorrow, and I’m all psyched up about what song I’m going to sing: It was a tough decision between Climb Every Mountain and Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough by Patti Smith (or is it Patty Smyth?), but the latter won in the end.
The major thing which influenced this choice was because last night, an old friend caught me online and chatted with me about another one of her boyfriend dilemmas. They’ve been together for 3 years now, but the relationship pales in comparison to a fairy tale romance. Their happy ever after has always been cut off by countless fights. They do love each other, no doubt. It’s just that they can’t seem to get a better handle on those disagreements. They have perfected the art of getting back together after breaking up so many times.
Far be it from me to be a marriage counselor with her own talk show on primetime TV, I think I may have one or two pieces of relationship advice up my sleeve which might be worth heeding.
Sometimes love isn’t enough.
It’s not enough that you love someone. You have to be able to live with him or her. You have to be able to sort through your issues together, and not end up always feeling all sad and angry. Sure, relationships aren’t a bed of roses, and there will be fights along the way. But if these fights leave you both constantly going for each other’s throats and you feel that your self-esteem is slowly being gnawed at, then it’s time to take action.
Try talking things out with your partner, or better seek the help of a counselor. Even for a brief moment, leave all feelings of blame outside the door, and listen to what each one has to say. You should then be able to sift through your major and minor problems.
If things still don’t work out, maybe it’s time to call it quits. I read somewhere that “loving someone doesn’t mean you have to be together”. If being a couple doesn’t make you both happy, then it’s a sign the relationship has to end, while you still have some respect left for each other.
Enough with the heavy stuff, and on with the singing…