Marriage Blues: What to do if Matrimony isn’t Working For You

We don’t get married thinking the marriage is going to end at some point. This is often the way of things, and, if it happens, we have to make sure we deal with divorce like an adult. But, the idea is to make sure we don’t get to that stage, so we need to make sure try to salvage our marriages. What do you do if matrimony isn’t working out for you? Well, here are a few things you could try in order to work on your marriage.

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Try Counseling

A sensible and important early step in the process is to try marriage counseling. If you are having problems with your relationship, you sometimes need an expert to help with that. And this is why you need to make sure you try counseling. Of course, this can be tricky if your partner is opposed to it. But, you probably both want to make your marriage work, and this is the best way to facilitate that. A few counseling sessions can help you iron out the creases, and talk through problems you might have.

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Keep Your Personal Life Off Social Media

What is it with our social media obsession these days?! It might not surprise you to know that couples who air their relationship on social media are less likely to stay together than those who don’t. So please, just avoid Facebook and Twitter. Stop posting about your personal life and problems online. It just turns into a game of ‘he said she said’ and this never works out well. Keep your relationship private, and talk to one another about issues you have, as opposed to raging to the world about them.

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Work on Problems

Too many people these days don’t want to work on the marriage problems they have. They are too quick to make snap decisions about things. The trouble is we live in a culture where more and more people decide they want things, but they don’t want to put in the effort required to get them. And this is why it’s important to make sure you try to work on your marriage problems. There are many problems and issues that present themselves in marriage. You just need to think about working on them and figuring out how to make them better. And counseling, as mentioned before, can go a long way toward helping with that.

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Consider a Divorce

When you reach the end of the road, there are not many options left. And divorce is one of the only paths available. Now, this is often messy, and it’s not going to go down well with your spouse. But, sometimes it is the right thing to do, and you have to do it. The fact that around 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce is a scary statistic. And, these days it’s probably a lot easier to meet new people, which can be a contributing factor. If you want to file for divorce, you need to hire a divorce lawyer. Just make sure you are certain about your decision first. This can be an ugly and stressful business, so you need to be sure it’s the right move for everyone.

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Marriage isn’t for everyone, but a lot of people don’t find that out until they tie the knot. If you have reached a point where you feel like your marriage is no longer working it’s time to take action. This post details just a few of the things you might decide to do if you are struggling in your marriage.

Make 2017 Your Best Year Yet

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As one year comes to an end, another rises from the ashes like a phoenix. A new year gives us a new clean slate, the opportunity to start fresh and the motivation we need to get to where we want to be. But don’t just make meaningless resolutions, take steps to ensure 2017 is your best year yet.

 

Reflect on Your Goals

To know where you’re going in life, and to make sure you’re on the right path, it’s important to reflect on your goals. Each new year is a fantastic opportunity to do this. Tick off any short-term goals you have managed to achieve, and write down new ones which will get you closer to your long-term goals. If anything has changed, you’ve adjusted your sails and want to do something different to what you originally thought then write it down. Work out manageable steps that you can take throughout the year to get there, this gives you something to focus on and prevents you from going off track.

 

Get Healthy

Few things in life are more important than health. Make 2017 the year where you kick your bad habits once and for all, and embrace a healthier lifestyle. You could quit smoking, reduce your alcohol consumption and eat a balanced diet filled with fresh produce. You could drink more water, sort out your sleeping pattern and discover an exercise routine which you actually enjoy doing. It could be a sport, a class or working out with a friend. Either way, these are all things which will hugely improve and benefit your life.

Spend More Time With Loved Ones

Friends and family are so important, but when we lead busy lives, you might find you’re not in contact with them as much as you’d like. Have a chat and arrange to do something that suits you all. For example, you could arrange to get the whole family together once a month for food and drinks to keep in contact. Or you could organize a bi-weekly coffee break or shopping trip with a friend. Having a plan in place means you can organize your schedule around these visits and you’re more likely to keep to them. Other commitments can mean time is tricky, we never seem to have enough of it. But it’s important to make the time for our nearest and dearest. For friends and relatives who live far away, be sure to keep in touch via Skype or by phone. The internet makes it so easy to stay in contact these days, but ensure that it’s real communication rather than just a like or favorite on social media.

 

Speak to a Psychic

Talking to a psychic can give you clues as to what 2017 may have in store. Psychics are highly intuitive so are able to give you guidance, and also objective advice on any issues that you might have. If you don’t have time to visit a psychic for a phone reading, phone psychics are a convenient way to get a reading. Psychics can offer insights into careers, finance, relationships and more. Having hints about the future means you can adjust your sails accordingly.

 

Learn Something New

Learning something new is good for your mental health, boosts confidence and could lead to all kinds of other opportunities. For example, an evening class learning about a new subject will introduce you to like-minded people, and if it’s a craft of some kind you could even set up a business and make some extra cash. Learning new skills stops life from becoming stagnant, just because you’ve reached adulthood doesn’t mean there’s not a whole world of things out there to be learned and enjoyed. You could take a class, an online course, read books or just wing it and teach yourself something new.

 

Stress Less

Life can be stressful at times, but if you let stress consume your life then it passes you by, and you love the enjoyment from it. If you’re a chronic worrier and it’s affecting your health, consider speaking to your GP. Otherwise, develop ways of de-stressing which help you to wind down. Things are never going to be perfect, so it’s important to know how to deal with worries when they crop up. It could be through exercise, meditation or just taking a long soak in the bath. Writing a ‘worry journal’ is useful for some people too. This is where you designate a few minutes a day to worrying and write it all down. After that, you have to put your worries out of your head until the next session. This can prevent you from worrying about and dwelling on things all day.

 

Knowing where you want to be in your life and taking steps to get there is how you can make 2017 your best year yet. So enjoy it, have fun and embrace changes and challenges.

 

Are you excited about the new year?

 

Long Distance Relationships Are Challenging But Not Impossible

With an increasingly global world, sometimes, life takes people who love one another far apart. The idea of a long-distance relationship can be daunting. The sitcom Modern Family parodied this, with Alex deciding long-distance can’t possibly work. She subsequently decided that she would not even try. With examples like this in pop culture, and the intake of breath at the idea, it’s no wonder that as a society we see these relationships as doomed.

However, sometimes, life forces us into circumstances that are outside of our control. Geography might make a relationship easier, but it doesn’t mean that it’s guaranteed to work. At the end of the day, all relationships are a risk, and all require work to be success. It just means that for those in love with someone overseas, they might have to work a bit harder.

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It’s hard when your loved one is overseas.

It doesn’t matter if your relationship is new, and you are struggling with the realities of getting used to one another. You can have an established relationship where circumstances have led you to need to live apart. The circumstances don’t matter, because the guide to surviving and flourishing stays the same. Every relationship is unique, but we all need the tools to cope with unusual and stressful situations.

Communication Is Vital: Talk About Everything

It goes without saying that when you’re long distance, the biggest tool in your arsenal is talking to one another. It’s your primary method of communication, and it’s how you find a way to touch base with one another and know you are in each other’s thoughts. It’s pretty obvious that you need to talk about the big things, decisions you have to make and major large events. As time goes on, through open and frank conversations, a time may come to talk to an immigration lawyer. It’s a process, it takes time – but it’s something you need to talk about to see that you’re on the same page.

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Communication is essential, and more so in a long distance relationship

What some couples who are trying to close the miles between them forget to do is talk about the small things. Think about the thousand and one conversations that couples who live close to one another have on an average week. They will talk about the things that have irritated them at work, the weather, the little things they saw that made them laugh. It’s these small, seemingly trivial things that make us who we are and give a proper account of our lives.

If you don’t bring these up to our long-distance partner, it can lead to a feeling of separation. You feel like you are living separately, divorced from the reality of one another. Say what you had for lunch; find ways to incorporate your life on both the big things and the small. It might sound a little dull to go over things in such detail, but it helps complete a full picture that skipping over them denies you.

Don’t End A Conversation Angry

There comes a point in all relationships where you get annoyed with each other. Frustrations boil over and neither of you seem to be getting what you want, or you’re just in plain old bad moods. If you live near one another, these matters are easily settled with the passage of time and a quick apology. It’s even easier if you’re in the same house, as no one wants to live in an uncomfortable situation.
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Cross words with someone you love can make you feel furstrated

If you don’t have that luxury, then arguments have even more of a potential to cause a problem. At times, you will inevitably get annoyed – that’s one of the signs you care. What are only small disagreements or problems can quickly become magnified, because you don’t have access to the quick fixes. Instead, the distance between you seems to become even bigger, as the silence magnifies when one of you hangs up.

If things are getting stressful, then you both have to agree you need to take a bit of time to calm down. Agree this tactic before you are even having an argument, so neither of you finds it passive-aggressive in the heat of the moment. Then, after an hour, get back in touch when you’re calmer and try to work through the issue.

Don’t end a call angry, and don’t give someone the silent treatment. It might be a reasonable thing to do if you live together, but it can be fatal across the miles. Make sure you’re both aware of this, and while you can take time to calm down, don’t let it go for too long.

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If you don’t get much time together, letting an argument sit is damaging.

On the upside, all of this practice is going to lead to an open and frank relationship. Your union is going to be healthier in the long run. It will be worth talking about the possibility of moving your relationship on at some stage, with one of you moving to be with the other.

You Can Still Do Things Together – But You Have To Improvise

Sometimes, you want to bond with your significant other in a way that doesn’t involve just talking. It might seem like you don’t have much option but to just talk, but that’s not the case at all.

For a start, you can play games together in real time thanks to the internet. Use the chat section of apps to talk as you do, just like you would chat and needle one another during a game in person.

 

Furthermore, you can use video chat to do household chores with each other. Cooking is particularly good for this, as you both prepare a meal while using the video function. This gives you an element of involvement with one another’s lives, as you can show what you’re doing rather than just talking to each other.

Respect Time Zones – Always

If you’re living in different time zones, there is another layer of difficulty adding on to the issue. It can also quickly become a bone of contention, particularly if one of you doesn’t respect the time difference.
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Is your lunchtime their bedtime? Think before you call!

Say you have a bad day at work; it’s only natural to want to talk to your partner about it. Don’t think you can call them at 4am “just this once” though – because they still have a life to lead, and you’d be disturbing that. It’s also rarely “just the once”; when you do it once, it doesn’t seem so bad to do it again. There are exceptions to this rule – such as family emergencies – but generally, you both have to agree to stick to the time zones.

It’s all about respect for one another, the need for good communication and being honest. It’s not ideal, but keep that in mind, and you’ll manage it – no matter what society and pop culture says.

How to Choose the Perfect-Shaped Wedding Ring

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Image by Vikini via Flickr

When it comes to trying on wedding rings, you’ll find that every shape and style looks as good on your finger as it does on the display case.

But don’t worry. There is a ring shape and style to flatter every finger and every hand. Here is our guide to choosing shaped wedding rings.

 

The Wedding Band Equation

 If you want to find the perfect match, consider this: finger width x finger length + wedding band style + ring shape = perfection. Before you start, visit Serendipity Diamond’s shaped wedding rings for more ideas.

When it comes to looking at different rings, start by considering the width and length of your finger. Also factor in the overall size of your hand. Take these factors into consideration, along with:

 

  • The style and width of the ring you like
  • The size and shape of the main stone

 

Another consideration is your usual nail shape and length. Do you keep your nails trimmed short, or do you prefer them shaped and long? Longer nails usually lengthen the appearance of your fingers- becoming part of the equation.

 

The Different Lengths

Long Fingers

Most styles tend to work well on rings for thin, long fingers. But consider these points when choosing a ring:

  • Round and princess-cut stones are particularly flattering
  • Wider bands will complement length
  • Long fingers can pull off bold styles

 

Slender Fingers

When choosing a ring for slender fingers, you don’t want to overpower the fingers:

  • Thicker bands will widen the look of your fingers
  • Smaller stones can make thing fingers look wider

 

Short Fingers

Rings for short fingers should make fingers look longer, no matter what width:

  • Narrow, slender-width bands can create the illusion of length
  • Pear, oval and marquise stones will lengthen the appearance of fingers
  • Rectangular-shaped stones lengthen short fingers- provided they aren’t so big that they overwhelm

 

Wide Fingers

When it comes to choosing rings for wide fingers, try to find a style that doesn’t show off too much skin on each side of the ring, or make fingers look wider. Consider the following styles:

  • Medium to thick bands
  • Round stones and cluster styles that are set in larger settings tend to flatter wider fingers
  • Choose marquise, wide oval, emerald or rectangular shapes. The narrow stones will make wider fingers look even wider.
  • Asymmetrical designs and angular shapes will minimize the width of fingers

 

Larger Knuckles

If you’re not particularly fond of your knuckles, the right ring can work to draw attention away from them:

  • Consider heavier, thicker bands which draw attention to the ring instead of the centre of your finger.

When choosing your wedding band, keep the bigger picture in mind – it’s not just about your finger, but you also need to consider your hand.

 

Smaller Hands

If you have smaller hands, try to keep the overall proportion of the ring small.  Princess-cut, small round, heart-shaped and oval stones tend to work especially well.

 

Larger Hands

  • Larger hands can get away with chunky, bulky styles of bands
  • Larger rings should suit your personality – there’s a lot more room to get creative

The Three Main Shapes of Wedding Rings

Wedding rings come in three main shaped:

  1. Shaped
  2. Court shaped
  3. D shaped

Take the above tips into consideration, and you will easily find the perfect pair of wedding bands.

 

4 Benefits Parents Could Get from Making a Will

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One of the things most parents usually put off is writing a will. Apparently, there is a large number of parents from across the globe these days who do not have a will yet. It is something they don’t pay much attention to, but is really essential for the entire family.

A will is an important legal document that every parent needs to draft. We don’t want this to happen, but if you die, and you don’t have a will prepared for the court to see, then the law of intestacy will decide on what’s going to happen to your properties and money. Since a will ensures proper arrangements for your dependents, you won’t be worrying about the distribution of your possessions anymore. It can also aid you in organising your affairs after your death.

Moreover, it is highly recommended that you keep the list of your assets up-to-date. This is to ensure that you are aware of all your properties and you can trace them as well.

Here are some of the benefits you can get from making a last will and testament:

A will provides financial security for your family, especially your children

One of the most effective ways to guarantee the financial security of your entire family even when you are gone is by writing a will. This gives you greater peace of mind because you are assured that they will still live adequately after your death. Most importantly, your children’s future is already secured.

A will reduces stress for your loved ones

If people decide to challenge a will, NSW, BC, Scotland and New York have the best competent lawyers to help them. But this does not mean the process won’t be stressful and emotionally difficult for the people involved. That is why these lawyers encourage families to talk first before proceeding with the case. For sure you do not want their family relationship to be tarnished just because you decided not to make a will! Avoid this. Draft a will now and keep your family’s relationship strong

A will saves you money and quicken the whole legal process

A valid will assists your family with settling an estate quickly at a lesser cost. By drafting your will carefully with the aid of an experienced legal advisor, you can reduce the inheritance tax that needs to be paid. Additionally, you can save more from it and the value of your properties will also be secured.

A will specifies your funeral wishes

Whether you want to be cremated or buried the traditional way, your will can do the talking for you. You can actually write every funeral wish you might have when you die and include them in your will. Specifying your funeral wishes ensures that your body will be treated the way you want it to when you are gone.

The bottom line here is that creating a will should also be prioritised by parents. You might think it’s difficult and costly to draft one, but it’s not. Writing a will is simple and all you need is to carefully decide on who to pass on your possessions. You and your family can obtain all the benefits mentioned above once you have written a will accordingly.

Two Things That Will Ruin Your Marriage (And It’s Not What You Think)

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When we think about reasons for splitting up, we tend to think about betrayal and infidelity. However, the following two habits will lead you straight to the divorce courts.

 

  1. Negativity

 

It’s easy to fall into this trap. We all strive for a good life, and we want to be happy. However, sometimes the everyday things get in the way and ruin this picture. You may be unhappy or unfulfilled at work. You may be living in a house or apartment that you don’t like. There are aspects of your relationship that you’re worried about. Often it’s the little things that mount up. Before you know it you’re feeling frustrated and uneasy. Everything seems to be going wrong.

Now would be a good time to take a step back, assess the situation and act accordingly. Instead, you moan about everything that is wrong in your life. As soon as your partner walks through the door you’re off and bitching about your crappy day. It gathers momentum, and you include him in your criticism. You argue, and you reel back everything little thing he’s done wrong since you met seven years ago. Do you recognise this picture?

And it doesn’t end there. You make up again, but this run of negativity continues and becomes a feature of your married life. Before you know it you’ll be seeking an attorney who specialises in divorce and family law.

Recognise what you’re doing and stop. Being aware of it is the first step. If there are aspects of your life that you’re unhappy with, then work through them and work out how to fix them. Talk it through with your partner. And if you find yourself about to enter into the negative zone, think about positive things that have happened instead. In fact, people who write down three positive things that have happened to them each day, report feeling happier.

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  1. Lack of Communication

 

A lack of communication in any relationship is always bad news. With your partner, it can be disastrous. It starts off small. Just little things like staring at your phone when you’re out on a date. Or, staring at the TV all night. It also manifests in other ways. If you feel your partner doesn’t listen to you then suddenly you stop asking. He is completely unaware of this. And it goes both ways, of course. Soon, neither of you know what the other is thinking and resentment builds.

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. Remember when you were dating, and you talked all night? It all seemed effortless back then. You didn’t even need to think about it. Talking came naturally. But when you’re in a long-term relationship and everyday life takes over, communication is something you need to work on.

Start by going on dates again. Find a time when you’re both free. Put your phones on silent and switch off any distractions. Take time to talk to your partner and listen to what he has to say. Really listen. If there are things that he needs from you, then try to oblige him. And vice versa.
Eradicating these habits from your life won’t make everything perfect, but it may just save your marriage. 

Ways to Prevent Infidelity

In modern marriages, studies have shown that it’s actually quite common for both husbands and wives to cheat. While everyone’s relationship is unique, there are some common issues many couples face in their relationships that aid in the difficulties they experience. When things like stress, miscommunication, resentment and lack of empathy become patterns, the temptation to stray can increase. The following tips may help you to prevent infidelity in your marriage.

Talk About the Hard Stuff

One of the biggest contributors to the breakdown of a marriage is lack of communication, especially about difficult topics like insecurities, hurt feelings and worries. However, by not sharing information regarding these important aspects with a spouse, miscommunication happens. Often, these kinds of misunderstanding could have been avoided by simply talking about them.

Compromise to Meet Each Other’s Needs

Once you’ve discussed your frustrations or hurt feelings with your partner, it’s then time to make sure they are aware of your needs on the subject. You can never assume your spouse should know what you want from them. In addition, more than likely, you’ll need to make compromises to ensure that each partner’s needs are met. When this happens, spouses feel more satisfied and secure. Don’t be afraid to get creative or step out of societal norms when it comes to compromise. Sometimes you need to do things a little different than is traditionally expected. Coming to unique compromise that is right for your individual marriage is more important than what others think.

Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes

Frequently, partners will share their frustrations with each other, but then fail to take action to make changes. Without change, unhealthy patterns will persist. One way to make change happen is to really listen to your partner and try to empathize with their feelings. While you may not fully understand the reason for such feelings, taking time to acknowledge them and validate your partner is experiencing pain has such a positive impact.

Don’t Attribute Intent Where There Is None

Those who do not take the time to empathize with their spouse and try to understand their feelings run the risk of concocting incorrect scenarios in their head. For example, if your spouse gives you the silent treatment, you may assume she is angry. In reality, she may not have intended to seem angry. Instead, her silence may have been her way of signaling her hurt feelings.

Hopefully, these tips can help you to work toward resolving your marital issues. However, sometimes divorce cannot be avoided. In these instances, it’s important to seek the advice of experts like Cordell & Cordell in order to navigate the process more smoothly.

Why You Should Consider Online Dating

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Most single men and women think that an online dating website is for those looking for a one-night stand, casual dating, or who are desperate or just plain weird. It’s those people who unwillingly sign up, only to find out that they are completely wrong about dating sites and their members.

Online dating sites are not just for those looking to find a one-night stand or affair. They are also populated by people with serious intentions, and who are simply looking to build long-term relationships with other consenting adults. The ability to list what an individual is looking for (just fun or serious commitment, etc.) can ensure that everyone understands the other person’s intentions and doesn’t get any false pretences about what he or she is looking for.

In addition to this, Internet dating sites are not for the desperate or the weird. They are actually for people who couldn’t find what they’re looking for in their daily lives. Many people don’t want to waste their spare time on countless dates with people who they are not really attracted to, and others may find that they are simply too busy to go on a date with people due to their work schedule. Anyway, there are people from all ages, all walks of life and all cultures on online dating sites, making it an exciting, fun and diverse place to meet new single men and women!

            Free vs. Paid Dating Sites

Once you’ve decided to take the first step in finding your true love or genuine friendship with a person of the opposite sex, you need to determine what dating website(s) to use. There are a great variety of free and paid dating sites available for use in the UK; however, you need to check out the features of each and consider their pluses and minuses.

One thing you have to know is that most of the paid online dating websites offer an “advanced” matching algorithm. While this may sound worth the extra money, you need to remember that neither complex formulae nor computer programs can predict whom your perfect match will be. Moreover, many people find that they are not nearly as successful with their selected matches on dating sites as they are when they browse through a list of singles personally!

            Free dating sites in your area

Free dating websites are the best option for those individuals who are just starting out in the world of online dating, and for those who have been looking for love for a quite while. Online dating sites like BeNaughty.com feature the options most paid dating sites offer at absolutely no cost. Simply log on to BeNaughty or one of the other free dating sites and begin looking at the attractive single men and women near you!

What to Do Before Asking for a Divorce

Whether or not we grown-ups admit it, we are just as enamored and hooked on the movie Frozen as our kids are. But more than the catchy melodies and spanking animation, what endears us to it is the promise of a happy ever after. For some of us though, when things turn sour in our respective marriages, that happy ever after turns into a happy never ever.

It’s not the end of the world when that happens. You can always start anew by asking for a divorce. But before you head in that direction, here are some important things you should do:

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Image credit: GowerandBluck.com

Everyone deserves a second chance.  It’s never too late to pick up the pieces and rebuild your life.  A whole new world will open up to you once you learn to “let it go”.

Of Life and Lemons

In these trying times, we could all use a little sprinkle of inspiration and positivity.  I myself haven’t exactly been frolicking in the snow or making out with a handsome hunk as of late, so when I came across this article by Sandy Balazic, a soon-to-be graduate from ASU’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication, I felt it resonate with me.

The article entitled When Life Gives You Lemons, Go Back to School is about a single mom raising 4 children.  In her quest for finding her purpose in life after her divorce, she goes to back to school- with one of her daughters as her classmate.

You can imagine how challenging things get.  Balazic tries to balance being a mom with dealing with math problems.  She explains what it’s like to be the oldest in class and have your daughter as your peer at school.  As she and her daughter learn classroom lessons together, they end up being closer.

Stories like this really get to me.  They help nudge me in the right direction.  Balazic let nothing stand in the way of her dreams.  She is somehow able to invest in herself and raise a family at the same time.

Balazic and her daughter are both graduating from college this spring.  They will then face life feeling fulfilled, accomplished, and more headstrong.

I want to be able to do likewise.  I want to look after my daughter and improve myself while I’m at it.  It’s time I start doing something with these lemons.