I Wish I Had Facial Hair

No, you definitely are not looking at a typo, nor have I gone totally insane- at least I don’t think so!  I just sometimes wish I were male.  Yes, I wish was one of those chaps who burped on command and knew what RF coaxial connectors were all about.  If by some twist of fate I suddenly wake up to find myself a brewing pot of androgen, then I would be pleased, because I will then have transformed into a single dad.

 

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Single dads win over single moms in the attractiveness department.  Based on my observation, single fathers seem to have it much easier when it comes to snatching someone from the opposite sex.

You know how a single man walking around the park with a dog attracts women passing him by?  That’s pretty much how it works with single dads.  I don’t mean to compare kids to dogs (they’re both cute, by the way), but they somehow serve the same purpose- they both make single dads or men appealing.

When a woman meets a single dad, she gets the impression that he is nurturing, caring and loving.  Any man in touch with his feminine side scores points with the ladies on any given day.

On the other hand, when a man meets a single mom, she inevitably drops a notch or two on the sexiness scale.   The thought of “excess baggage” rears its ugly head and sometimes repels men, as if the woman had bad breath.

I guess that’s just how things are.  There are simply some stereotypes which we can’t readily shake off.

But then again, there are instances when it hardly matters whether a single woman has kids or not.  I do know some single moms who have found love in its truest form.  They have found real men who have accepted them despite their not-so-pleasant past.  Maybe I’m just jealous.

What’s your take on this?

 

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About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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Comments

  1. i can relate, i was once a single mom for nine years, i have no intentions on getting into a relationship again after my annulment, but i ate my words when the love of my life my, soulmate came in the most unexpected time of my life hehe. i was all alone raising my son, i cried a bucket of tears everytime my kid is sick, finances are low, morale is low and i felt like i am being cursed. it’s a good thing that my mom is always beside me to give me the moral support.

    the past is not an issue, for if a man dearly loves you, he will love you for who you are :)

    • Thanks for the encouraging words, Mommy Joy :). Whenever I feel down, I’ll just think of you and your story. Really, I appreciate it :). You don’t know how happy you’ve made me today :)

  2. So true, and ridiculous…

  3. It does seem easier for single dads but most of the time the single mom gets the child so that’s a reward in itself.

  4. Hi everyone, well l stumbled across this site and couldnt help but leave a comment. I am attatched and have a 7 year old step daugher and an 18 month baby girl. When l first got with my “current” partner she all ready had a daughter to her first husband….. who simply “upped and left” as he wanted to explore the world and didnt seem to value his marriage or his daughter enough to put the holiday/overseas adventure out of his mind. Anyway, long story short he left and l took over (so to speak) Now at the time l thought nothing of it…. the fact that my misses had a child dint bother me at all….. but 5 and a half years on, l am learning that it aint easy being the “step dad” it seems in my case l feel like l on one hand l am expected to do certain things, yet on the other hand l feel like it aint my place to discipline my step daughter. At times it is exceptionally hard and l often say to my misses…. put yourself in my shoes, it seems to work for a few days and then we end up back where we started all over again. Anyway it aint as bad as l am making out, but it is something that “some”…. possibly “many” mums overlook when they have children to previous relationships…… the new partner is either a “step dad” or nothing at all….. you cant have it both ways. This post isnt in response to anyone in particular… so please dont anyone be offened, just saying something which might be worth “some” single parents keeping in mind if/when they get involved in another serious/long term relationship.

    Ok all the best to you all.

    P.S. the website is just one of many which l designed and am simply getting the link out there….. it aint actually my business, l just try to post links where and when l can.

    • Thanks for providing a different perspective, Pete. I really appreciate it :)

      Yes, I guess we should also try to empathize with the stepdad. Wow, I never realized how difficult it was on your part.

      Do you have a blog? so I can keep reading things you have to say :)

  5. I got a lot of single mom friends. And most of time, I hear rants from them and difficulties on taking care of their children alone. And at the same time, its also rewarding. haha! I completely understand them, but I am hoping that this will not happen to me and my husband.

  6. I think it’s definitely a man’s world in this sense. I always try to reverse it though, and think through where women have advantages, like living longer. But even now, I can’t name another advantage…shoot I’m not helping! It seems like a single dad would be a good match with a single mom though. You both have your baggage, and can relate to each other. They are out there!

    • Oh, I wish I find my single dad soon :). I just hope his kids won’t think of me as the evil stepmom… The drama never ends, it seems…

  7. Yes. I think you’re jealous. So am I. :)

  8. Based on the movies that I’ve watched, single dads always win everyone’s heart then in reality single moms always win because they have their kids with them.

  9. I dig that part with the dog, that goes well for guys who carry cute babies even if the baby is just a nephew or niece – chick magnet so to say :) But I agree with Joy, that goes for all, love looks beyond the superficial.

  10. Pepper the stereotypes ring true generally, which is what compelled me to start my blog, to encourage women not to fall into the trap of believing them. I really get angry about them … But it’s Sunday morning here some won’t get into that now. I actually think most single dads are more attracted to single mums because they know they will be understood and be given the space to do their dad thing without having someone on their case. I am pretty much only attracted to single dads for exactly the same reason, and if they have a dog it’s a bonus x

    • I guess you’re right. Probably only a single dad will truly understand single moms like us- and vice versa. I haven’t met any single dads here, though. Maybe not yet.

  11. Its how you deal with life and just move on, its really not a problem being a single parent. I know a lot of friends who are single yet they manage to cope with life. Just stay what you are

  12. It’s true that there are still guys out there that will not really care whether you are a single mom or not. They are pretty much a rare breed, but they are out there. It happened to a good friend of mine. Before she married her husband, she was a single mom with two kids. Yet, the guy didn’t only love her, but also loved her kids as if they were his own even before they were married. They have been married now for more than two years, and she’s never been happier. If it happened to her, I’m sure it will happen to you too. :)

  13. I guess it’s just the way our society is (although I know we aren’t the only one.) It’s sad indeed. We need more enlightened people. =(

  14. I somehow can relate like what I posted about Ohana, the family is a very unique institution and within are unique individuals…for sure there’d be the pros and cons of both side, single and married, mom and dads :)

  15. Well I guess it’s because of expectations. Women are generally more understanding of the fact that they will have to share attention with the man’s children. Men expect their women to not just be lovers, but part-time mothers as well, showering them attention and nurturing them etc, so a woman with a kid seems less appealing since the kid will present some sort of competition.

    I wonder if there’s a biological aspect to this tho. Some male animals are known to take over a weaker male’s “wife” but will kill all the offspring.

  16. Oh, I also feel the same way…. I guess most single moms feel this…

  17. gender inequality perhaps^_^ there’s always that “cold shoulder” aspect when it comes to single moms getting attached again…wherefore, when it comes to single dads, it seems, it’s just too regular. must have been male charisma, or that, we, women in general are “cursed” (forgive my words^_^) when we erred?
    very unfair isn’t it?

  18. Hi Pepper,

    I am happy to have been able to contribute to the discussion. I dont have a blog of my own….. pathetic realy ( I build websites for a living) so l suppose l ought to be ashamed of myself for not putting in a bit of extra effort to set up a blog.

    I will come here from time to time and put in my “two bobs” worth, and if l ever get around to a blog of my own l will be sure to let you know.

    I have read most of the comments on the page, and l dont dissagree with what anyone has said, even if someones comments are totally different from my experience…. the truth is “every” situation is different.

    There are some great dads out there and there are some great mums as well. I guess there are all sorts of reasons for break ups, sometimes violence, sometimes strain of finances, sometimes illness/death, ofcourse there are an endless number of reasons for a couple to break up.

    As l mentioned in my first post, l was single with no kids….. l met my ‘current’ partner 5 and half years ago. My partner had been married with one child, when her then husband decided to “pack up shop” and leave his wife and daughter behind while he went on an overseas “sexcapade”. He also had eyes on another woman at his work place.

    what l am trying to point out is there was no real reason for my misses and her husband to split…. other than “his” pur selfishness. He put his own desires and ambitions above the needs of his daughter and his then wife. While l aint complaining as such (Because l ended up winning the woman) but too me it is inexcusable for a parent to put a “thrill” or “desire” before their own child.

    Like l said in my first post, my partner and l have had our ups and downs…. and many of them are the direct result of being a “step dad” and having an “ex” to deal with. But now that we have a daughter togethor there is “NO WAY” l would ever pack up and leave…… my misses would have to turn into a fair dinkum physcopath before l could ever walk out.

    For the record l do love my step daughter, and l do try my absolute best to treat her exactly the same as l would if she were my own. But as l mentioned in my first post, at times being a step dad can be very difficult. I guess it would also be the same in reverse (for all those step mums)

    The one thing l did/do have in my favor is that my step daughter was only a baby when l first appeared on the scene…. I can only imagine how difficult it is for step mums and step dads when the kids are much much older.

    I will tell you all more about the biological father (father of the year NOT) in another post….. but only if ya’s wanna hear a true wankers story….

    Ohh and for all you single mums out there, can l just say, when l was ‘single and looking’ l specifically did go in search of a “single mum” as l do believe that single mums are potentially going to be more loyal, more loving, more understanding and more trustworthy than those who are just “single women”.

    Not knocking all single women, but l figure a lot of single ‘Mums’ are single because they ‘were’ with an ass-hole. So when a decent bloke comes along the single mum is likely to be more appreciative of what she has.

    Ok before l sign off…. if anything l have just said comes across as being offensive to anyone l do apologise and simply say, perhaps my words have been taken out of context, as l aint knocking anyone (except the biological father of my step daughter)

    Ok all the best, till next time take care and bye for now

    • Thanks for visiting, Pete :). I do love reading what you have to say. Yes, it’s a shame you don’t have your own blog! Or at least an advice column in the local paper?

      It’s comforting to know that some men do hunt for single moms. That gives me so much hope :)

      Exes are such assholes, you’re right about that! I wouldn’t mind hearing about “biological father’s” story.

  19. lol, be careful of what you wish, girl! You are one pretty gal and please stay as you are :)

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