Between the 1980’s and today, my life has changed in so many ways. Physically, my body has started to store fat in the most unsightly places, and fine lines are starting to draw themselves on my face. But more than these manifestations of growing old, what bothers me most is that I feel I no longer really know myself. In the middle of all the highs and lows of my life, I seem to have lost myself.
That’s what prompted me to phone an old friend from high school a few days ago. Talking to her while reminiscing about how our prom dates’ raging hormones were just all over the place helped take me back to my old self. Our conversation reminded me of who I was before the advent of marriage, separation and living the life of a single mom.
And then I texted a college friend, and asked him to help reintroduce me to my old self. I told him I wanted to laugh like I used to. He said that I never really lost myself- I just needed to be happy. Bullseye! He’s the reason I wouldn’t ask for a MyLife.com Refund, if for instance I subscribed to that online friend-finding database just to find him again after years of not seeing him. He knows just what to say to make things clearer to me.
So now I’m back to thinking about how I can make myself happier. Yes, I’m embarking on my own journey towards real and lasting happiness. And I don’t have a concrete gameplan yet.
It’s old friends who help keep me anchored. They’ve been with me through hell and high water, and know me even more than I do. They’re probably the ones who can help me on my journey, so I’m going to just keep rolling with them whenever our schedules allow us. I guess you CAN find gold in the most unsuspecting places…