About two weeks ago, I did something which I haven’t done in ages- I went to church. I went through the motions like I always have. Growing up in a Catholic school, making the sign of the cross and clutching the rosary used to be part of my everyday life.
And then something happened… I cried. Not the bawl your eyes out kind. It was more of the silent, sniffy, discreetly-pat-your-eyes-with-a-tissue type of crying.
When I was a kid, I remember feeling a sense of calm and comfort whenever I went to church. I felt that same comfort that moment I cried, but I knew something was amiss. For the life of me, I don’t know exactly why I cried, but I just felt deep down inside that I was still looking for answers to questions.
No doubt, I believe in God. But I just want to be guided correctly. I don’t want to fall prey to empty pagan practices. I want to believe in what is true.
I don’t have anything against the Catholic religion- or any religion, for that matter. If it’s religion which gives people hope and strength, then I’m all for it.
Faith, they say, is believing without knowing (or something like that!). Does the fact that I want some sort of evidence of what is real diminish my faith in God? Am I going to be fed to the lions now?