My seven-year old daughter learned a new word yesterday: despondent. When she asked me how I was feeling when I got up from bed that morning, that’s the quick answer I gave her. I told her that meant sad, hopeless. My dismal demeanor made my mood plummet from the stratosphere down to the earth’s core. I felt I desperately needed to open up the sunrooms in my mind and let some sunshine in.
So why was I feeling especially downcast yesterday? I didn’t particularly lose someone or buy an ill-fitting bikini top from an expensive lingerie store. Nothing bad happened to me or to anybody I loved. I simply felt that something was amiss. Amid all the blessings around me, I still felt a sense of uneasiness. My spirit wasn’t exactly doing cartwheels.
I knew that I had the option to just divert my thoughts to more pleasant things, like thinking about my daughter’s upcoming academic awards recognition at school. Instead of wasting my energy on negative thoughts, I could have started coming up with ideas for awesome gifts for her. She does deserve only the best.
I started to look back on my life and where it has led me thus far. Admittedly, I have made a lot of wrong turns in this road of existence. Some decisions have led me to rough terrain which I found extremely difficult to get out of. On most occasions, giving up seemed like the best option.
I often wish that I could turn back the hands of time and undo the errors I’ve made. If I knew then what I know now, I might be better off and not sitting here feeling a bit sorry for myself.
But of course, what’s done is done. There’s no fairy godmother to magically wipe everything clean. I will not feel regret and instead forge forward. However which way you look at it, it’s the only way to go…