How to Communicate With Your Man- Really!

Before you leave this page and think about what kind of a sick, crazy nut I am- a divorced single mom giving out relationship advice- please do give me a chance and hear me out.  I don’t claim to be an expert at anything which closely relates to relationships, but I have learned an important thing or two in my past failures, so to speak.  In all the rubble left by my broken relationships, I’ve been able to unearth an essential ingredient which spells the success of love and romance.  And that is communication.

Communication is a significant factor which binds two people in a loving relationship.  How you communicate your feelings to your partner will greatly determine the fate of your union.

The problem with us women is that we tend to talk too much, that men oftentimes just shut down all auditory acuity.  They don’t listen, and this sends us into fits of rage which hell’s fury cannot hold a candle to.

So is it ever possible to really get through to a man?  The key is in not pointing out his flaws.  As much as we’d like to change him, we simply can’t, and shouldn’t.  We can’t just ask him to stop smoking, and expect him to quit cold turkey.

When talking to a man, we try not to blame him.  If we want to try to get him to do something for us, or to “change”, we do so in a way which doesn’t accuse.  For instance, if you’re sick and tired of him always coming home late at night without letting you know where he’s at, here’s what you can say:

I don’t like that I feel angry, and that I sound like I’m always complaining.  What do you think can we do to fix this?

The less words the better.  It’s about letting him know that you’re frustrated without directly blaming him for anything.  And by asking him about what he thinks, you are passing on the problem to him.  You’re now giving him the opportunity to make things better.

Because a man constantly faces a barrage of information from work and whatnot, he gets distracted and tunes you out.  They aren’t great multi-taskers like us women, remember?  But if we tell him our feelings and emotions in ways he can hear, and without pointing a finger, that puts him back in the zone.