Taking a Leap of Faith

Pardon my ignorance, but I must admit that I have never before imagined that you could actually grill pastry.  I never thought that fresh butter slowly melting on top of grilled pastry can be such a delectable delight.  It was a friend from work who introduced me to this sweet indulgence a week ago, and I must say that I am now a fan.

The sweet has suddenly turned sour when he told me he was leaving his job for a better opportunity elsewhere.  I will miss him not only because there will no longer be a delicious piece of hunky meat walking around the office, but also because on a few occasions, he has been my confidante.  His IT expertise has rolled over to the love department, and I have been a regular customer.

And then, the sour now turns into flavorful.  It is his moving on which has served as a springboard for me to finally think about my goals for the future.  A few posts back, I wrote about my thoughts on turning into a full-time work-at-home mom, and he was one of those who felt strongly about it.  We started out at this company at about the same time, and he identified with how burned out I felt at work.  His leaving now inspires me to act towards achieving my goals.  If he could do it, so can I.

When I wrote that post, I was still uncertain about what to do, but things are starting to become clearer now.  I will not bore you with the details of my goals (because even I bore myself sometimes!), but let me just say that I now have an action plan of sorts.  I also considered the various comments left by my lovely readers in coming up with a decision of what to do with my life.

Timing is everything.  Prayer will help see me through.  Things may not go as planned, but I have faith that an Invisible Hand will guide me.

The WAHM Ambition: Could I? Should I?

I have quite mastered it: the art of staring blankly into space.  For quite some time now, I find myself constantly lost in thought, fixing my gaze on a random object while I’m in the office- with anyone hardly noticing.

Obviously, I’m unhappy at work.  But it’s not because of my boss, as she is heaven sent.  It’s the work itself.  I’ve been slaving away for the longest time, but apparently, any dreams of career advancement will have to fly out the window.  In this company, the position I presently hold is the highest possible position they can give me (and to think I’m a licensed professional!).

I’m stuck in a no-brainer job.

So, my thoughts inadvertently teeter towards those of becoming a WAHM, or work-at-home mom (can also mean write-at-home mom, if you want).  I can almost imagine the sheer bliss of working in my pajamas.  I wouldn’t have to get up early each day, and beg for the extra five minutes in bed.  I will be given the privilege to do something I love and get paid for it.  It won’t feel like work at all.

More than the mediocrity of my job right now, the reason I want to be a WAHM is that I want to spend more time with my daughter on weekdays, as she spends weekends with her dad.

Before I succumb to the lure of WAHM-hood though, I have to admit that there are some trade-offs.  The pay- I think- won’t be as good if I work from home, and I’ll lose the other benefits I enjoy from my current job.

If I compare myself with other WAHMs I know, they’re better off, since their husbands work as well.  I, on the other hand, am a single mom living on a single income.  Money, it seems, should be my top priority.

Does that mean I have to put aside my own happiness? Can’t I work and do something I love at the same time?

Time is gnawing at my youth… I have very limited options, at this point…

Maybe I’ll just find myself a rich guy to marry?