10 Commandments for Dating a Single Mom

You knew you wanted her the first time you laid eyes on her.  Even from a far, you could tell that she had just the right blend of spunk, personality and looks.  You approached her ever so discreetly, and managed to start a conversation with her.  Fast forward to today, you have been dating her for quite some time now.  Right off the bat, she was honest enough to tell you that she was a single mother, and you had no qualms about it.  If you’re keen on pursuing a relationship with your single mom, do honor these 10 commandments for dating her:

Thou shalt check her schedule– It would be a wise move to always check with your single mom before making any plans to be with her.  If possible, ask her about her and her kid’s dad’s custody agreement beforehand, so you’ll know which days she’s kid-free.

Thou shalt be flexible.  If your single mom has to call off a date with you at the last minute, don’t push her against the wall.  If one of her kids has to suddenly be brought to the doctor, don’t hold it against your single mom.  Just take it all in stride, and reset your date for another day.

Thou shalt expect her to be straightforward. With her feelings, that is.  Since most single mothers have been through a lot in their past relationships, they tend not to play around and are pretty frank with their feelings.  Don’t be surprised if early on, she tells you how she truly feels about you.

Thou shalt honor her priorities.  Single moms are notorious multi-taskers, what with having to juggle so many responsibilities in the air.  It goes without saying that her kids are number one on her list, so be willing to accept that.  You may not be number one, but you still hold a special place in her heart.

Thou shalt not expect to go dutch on a date.  Single moms slave off at work for their kids, so don’t even think of asking her to foot part of the bill on your dinner buffet date.

Thou shalt be ready to meet her kids.  At some point in your relationship, you’ll eventually have to meet the kids.  It’s an unnerving experience, but if you and you single mom give yourselves ample time to talk about preparing for it, you should be fine.  Kids are kids, but they’re not monsters.

Thou shalt woo her.  Women are suckers for courtship in true fairy tale fashion.  Your single mom would appreciate it if you take her someplace special and do something she enjoys.   You don’t have to burn a hole in your wallet for this.  Simply put some effort into planning a fun day to spend with her, and you’re all set.  With so much going on in her life, she does deserve a break from it all, and who better to enjoy it with than you.

Thou shalt make her feel sexy.  Don’t blame your single mom if she occasionally has bouts of insecurity.  At the back of her mind is this fear that you might leave her for a single, no-strings-attached woman at the drop of a hat.  It helps to reassure her that, although she’s a far cry from Megan Fox, you still think she’s the sexiest woman alive.

Thou shalt accept the presence of her ex.  He may not be physically present, but the dad of your single mom’s kid is a permanent fixture in their lives.  Learn to live with the fact that your single mom will have to constantly keep in touch with him, if only to let him know how Junior’s soccer game went.

Thou shalt be careful with her heart.  If you truly care for somebody, whether she’s a single mom or not, you would tread carefully, and not do anything to displease her.  Crushing her heart to pieces is hardly the definition of a gentleman.  That’s more of an asshole trait.  The single mom is more vulnerable, as she most probably has just emerged from a failed relationship.

Bottomline: love your single mom the way she wants to be loved.  These women are brimming with love to give, and if you happen to be one whom she fancies, you can consider yourself one of the luckiest men on the face of the earth.

 

 

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

Catch me on G+.

Comments

  1. well said dear :)

  2. weeeeee..taray sistah..true hahaha..tama ka dyan..can I borrow this for my site hehehe..*blink blink*..and a final say..so to all those guys before you date a single mom..don’t you dare mingle with somebody else or else magtago ka na hahaha..antok na ako sis..just passing by po 10:30 p.m..nyt Ms.Pepper :)

  3. Wow! Very well written. I’d like to post this on my FB … thank you!

  4. amen :) nice post, sis :)

  5. I totally agree with all of these :D

  6. this is very interesting….thanks for sharing sis…:)

  7. Fantastic Post! I think I will print it out, and give it to Mr. Man on the first date. May or may not have him sign it:)

  8. Shengkay says

    ay ako rin! i want to to repost this one! perfect!
    bat ba ngayon lang ako napadpad dito..hahahaha…
    Love your blog mommy pep..astig!

  9. very nice post! i like this the most:
    “Thou shalt expect her to be straightforward. With her feelings, that is. Since most single mothers have been through a lot in their past relationships, they tend not to play around and are pretty frank with their feelings. Don’t be surprised if early on, she tells you how she truly feels about you.”

    and i think it is useful even for those who are not single moms, like me. :-) hihi.

  10. snoopy football highlights says

    Awesome!!! The part about the ex was hilarious:))

  11. Empowering Women says

    Great! this is a funny post. Thou shalt make her feel sexy is the funniest part :)

  12. I am with a single mom, is great, we plan to have a children together and o brother or sister to her boy,mine too. is great and she has a lot of experience

  13. nice one, pepper! lovin’ all your posts. keep it up! xoxo

  14. nice article.If one is dating with single mom,they have to adjust with their past also.

  15. Amen!! Haha :D

    Soooo true. I don’t think people realize just how fragile we can be. It doesn’t make it any easier that society still has this “single-mom-stigma”. It’s definitely a challenge. But we are worth the challenge!

  16. Here’s a couple commandments for the moms themselves:

    Thou shalt try to only date single fathers.

    If you’re with a childless man, just be thankful that someone without kids would even want to date you. He’s doing you a favor.

    Thou shalt wait until the kids are grown before moving him in or even having them meet each other.

    Thou shalt not act like a needy teenager.

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