I Wish I Had Facial Hair

No, you definitely are not looking at a typo, nor have I gone totally insane- at least I don’t think so!  I just sometimes wish I were male.  Yes, I wish was one of those chaps who burped on command and knew what RF coaxial connectors were all about.  If by some twist of fate I suddenly wake up to find myself a brewing pot of androgen, then I would be pleased, because I will then have transformed into a single dad.


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Single dads win over single moms in the attractiveness department.  Based on my observation, single fathers seem to have it much easier when it comes to snatching someone from the opposite sex.

You know how a single man walking around the park with a dog attracts women passing him by?  That’s pretty much how it works with single dads.  I don’t mean to compare kids to dogs (they’re both cute, by the way), but they somehow serve the same purpose- they both make single dads or men appealing.

When a woman meets a single dad, she gets the impression that he is nurturing, caring and loving.  Any man in touch with his feminine side scores points with the ladies on any given day.

On the other hand, when a man meets a single mom, she inevitably drops a notch or two on the sexiness scale.   The thought of “excess baggage” rears its ugly head and sometimes repels men, as if the woman had bad breath.

I guess that’s just how things are.  There are simply some stereotypes which we can’t readily shake off.

But then again, there are instances when it hardly matters whether a single woman has kids or not.  I do know some single moms who have found love in its truest form.  They have found real men who have accepted them despite their not-so-pleasant past.  Maybe I’m just jealous.

What’s your take on this?


A Middle-of-the-Night Aerosmith Attack

I certainly “don’t wanna close my eyes… don’t wanna fall asleep” cause I miss him, and I don’t want to miss a thing.  My corniness does freak me out sometimes, I have to admit!  But I can’t help it.  Steven Tyler has gotten into my system and has got me singing his song in almost-perfect pitch.

Last night, no matter how tired I was, I couldn’t sleep.  I kept thinking about Mr. SO (Significant Other) who is miles away from me.  We have been in this long distance relationship for two years now. Anyone who’s been in the same boat will agree with me that it’s no walk in the park.

There are days when I’m ok, there are days when I’m not.  My mood pendulum swings in the direction of a happy kind of longing one minute and moves towards a painful, heart-wrenching ache the next.

I oftentimes catch myself contentedly reminiscing about precious moments with him, but sometimes, the longing just gets so bad that I wish I had a teleportation device handy.   I want to break all laws of quantum physics and leap straight into his lap in the blink of an eye.

When it comes to the formula for making LDR’s work, I am absolutely clueless.  But I have faith that it will all turn out beautifully, just like my last haircut at this cheap salon.  In his little ways, Mr. SO shows his love.  That’s what keeps me going and believing that love knows no distance.

I feel another song coming on…

Online Dating Tips

If you still think that on one fine day, prince charming will come merrily prancing by your door with a glass slipper in hand, well, it’s time you hit your head with that imaginary glass slipper.  They’re called fairy tales because that’s what they are- just tales.  In the real world, looking for love is as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack.  There are hits and misses along the way, and more often than not, they’re mostly misses.

Some say that it’s best to stop looking and just wait for love to find you.  For single moms like me, that’s easier said than done.  It’ll probably be much easier to get Jordan Knight of NKOTB to give me a lap dance than to have true love find me.  If you’re the type who simply can’t sit still and wait for love to happen, then you can start taking matters into your own hands- or fingertips, for that matter.  Try looking for love online.  Here are a few things to keep in mind when going on free dating sites online.

Type up a good profile.  Good is the operative word, not fictitious.  Although it’s so tempting to put on an impressive front behind a cloak of anonymity, don’t take that route if you want to be taken seriously.  Write up your profile in a way that attracts, but not deceives.  Remember to include the qualities which you know are your selling point.  If you don’t mind your man going on boys’ nights out, then put that in as well.  Be clear about what you’re looking for in a partner.  First impressions do last, and your profile will be the basis of that.

Call or email a few times before meeting up.  Women tend to fall in love head first.  They make slightly unwise judgments when emotions run high during the initial stages of dating.  If you give yourself the chance to communicate with the man by email or phone before meeting in person, you can get a better grip on things.  You can get a sense of the man’s personality beforehand.

Suffice it to say, this venture is not for the faint of heart.  Well, anytime anybody dips his toes in the pool of love is in for a ride.  Just exercise caution and things should work out just fine.  Who knows, you just might find love at first terabyte (oooh, that sounded way too corny even for me!).


Will You un-Marry Me?

I can hardly believe it when I heard the news: my marriage is finally annulled!  I think my joy shot straight up to the heavens.  I was ecstatic and happy beyond words.

In this part of the globe, divorce is as inexistent as flabs are on Jennifer Aniston’s body, so the only alternative is to have one’s marriage annulled.  This takes quite some time- and heaps of money.  Court appearances are part of the ordeal, so it’s not easy.

In my case, it took three years before the court finally granted us the annulment we wanted.  I was hoping against hope that it would happen, and so it did.  Friends near and far congratulated me, and were sincerely happy for me as well.  I tried to stop them from doing the Roger Rabbit and Running Man, but they just had to do the dance of joy with me.

When the right time comes- I’m not quite sure when that will be- I will have to explain all this to my daughter.  God help me.

This annulment marks the beginning of a new life and brings much promise of happier things to come.  I feel like dancing to Kenny Loggins’ Footloose…


Roses Speak Louder Than Words

I have to get the carpenters to work on it, quickly.  I think I may have made a hole which shot straight off the roof when I leapt for joy a couple of hours ago.  Can’t you tell? I am simply joyous beyond words.  Happy doesn’t nearly describe how I feel right now.   I don’t want to sound cheesy and all, but yes, I am a giddy schoolgirl-fresh-from-prom-night reincarnate.

Three red roses found their way to my doorstep today.  I was surprised, to say the least… make that pleasantly surprised.  Mr. Significant Other (SO) turns out to have a romantic bone in his body, who would’ve known?  We are miles away from each other, and I just find it utterly sweet of him to have come up with the idea of sending me roses.

This is the first time in my entire life that anyone has given me roses.  Seriously.  I couldn’t even begin to describe all the various involuntary bodily responses which overcame me as I gingerly received that box of roses from the delivery man.  I felt a wave of unidentifiable emotions come over me.  As Christopher Cross oh so melodiously puts it, I was swept away.

I can just stare at them flowers all day…

How Not To Miss Someone

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. What they don’t tell you is that it can also make you insane. Being away from the one you hold most dear sometimes finds you staring blankly at the ceiling with a profuse amount of drool slowly making its way down your chin.

Possibly one of the saddest things that could happen to anyone of us is to be miles away from the one we love. As much as we’d always want to just keep them close and put them on a leash, certain life circumstances inevitably push us into dreaded situations where we or they have to be physically away for long periods. Sometimes it’s a job, school or the army which forces the one we love to pack his bags and fly off to distant lands.

Heart-wrenching as it is, we are left with no choice but to cope. So how do we do that, in between wiping off the drool and tears from our cheeks? Here are some things you can do to survive:

Hide those calendars. The more you count the days until you’re reunited with your love, the longer it seems.

Immerse yourself in reality talent shows. Who would’ve thought Simon Cowell can be therapeutic? You can spend hours cheaply amusing yourself simply by watching those singing or dancing shows. Don’t let anyone stop you, if you feel like joining the show yourself.

Do crossword puzzles. Do those which fill an entire magazine page. Stretch your brain to its limits.

Blog. If you don’t have one, comment on other blogs. What can be more fun than peeking into other people’s lives? Count. Okay, when it’s only a few weeks to go before your loved one gets back, then you can start taking out that calendar and counting the days. At least you’ll have something to look forward to.

But if you choose to go down the old beaten path of painting the town red with your friends and drowning yourself in alcohol in an attempt to numb the pain, that’s perfectly fine. Just take responsibility for that nasty, post-party hangover.

At the end of the day, no matter how busy you try to make yourself, you might still find yourself pining for your distant love. Once you hit the sack, that’s when reality hits you and the tears begin to trickle again. All you’re left with then is an aching heart… and a wet pillow.

4 Things I Learned This Weekend

  1. The World Series can be fun when you watch it with the one you love.  Baseball has always been as alien to me as sobriety is to Lindsay Lohan.  But this weekend, I finally learned how the game is played, and sincerely enjoyed watching it.  Although the concept of innings is still a bit of a blur to me, I pretty much have a firm grasp of the game- well enough to know when to applaud and when to curse the opposing team.
  2. A Quarter Pounder can be an expression of love.  Yes, burgers are the new flowers and chocolates.  I found it immensely sweet of Mr. Significant Other (SO) to think about what I was going to have for dinner as he was driving me home from our weekend together.  He stopped to buy me a quarter pounder to take home.  I chose something cheaper from the menu, but he insisted on the quarter pounder.
  3. Lemon-flavored beer tastes good.  Who would’ve thought?  It tasted like your regular beer with no aftertaste, and you can hardly notice any citrusy flavor.  I liked it.  On a scale of one to 10, I’d give it an 11.  Drinking it with your beloved while watching the World Series is highly recommended.
  4. A hug speaks volumes.  When he finally dropped me off, Mr. SO gave me a warm, tight hug as we said our goodbyes.  I felt a warm wave of love come over me, that my heart was about to burst from the love surge.

I can’t stop myself from doing a Julie Andrews and singing, “I must’ve done something good…”  When I think about it, I guess God is rewarding me for something good I’ve done in the past.  I am no angel, and I am severely flawed, so I am extremely overwhelmed for being blessed like this.   This wonderful weekend has made me the happiest woman on the face of the earth- let nobody tell you otherwise!


Yet Another Cheesy Post…

How can any woman in her right mind not fall in love with a man who pulls over to the side of the road, thumbs through his mp3 list, and chooses a song to sing to you in perfect pitch, complete with hand gestures?  Mr. SO has reincarnated in me an appreciation for Barry Manilow and The Carpenters.  Well, more than old songs, he has rekindled in me a sense of faith in true love.

He doesn’t give me flowers, but he buys me yummy ice cream, even on a rainy night.  He strips his fried chicken of its crunchy, MSG-rich skin and puts it on my plate- because he knows I love to eat chicken skin.  He buys me a week’s supply of my favorite creamy dessert.  He holds my hand as he shifts gears while driving.

I can go on all day about the wonderful things my man does to make me feel loved and special.  It doesn’t take much to make me feel like a spoiled Victoria Beckham, and Mr. SO seems to know how to keep me deliriously happy.

Whatever your special someone does for you, what’s important is you show him how much you value and appreciate his efforts.  A quick peck on the cheek or a shoulder rub at the end of the day- or giving him total domination over the TV remote control, as he watches his favorite game- is enough to show your man that you are thankful for the things he’s done for you.  That makes it all worthwhile.

What has your man done for you lately?

This Post Is Brought To You By a Sentimental Fool

I have to admit, I am that fool.  Whenever I spend fun times with two of the most important people in my life, I can’t help but keep replaying every moment in my head.  My brain hasn’t kept up with the times, though, so it still is in video cassette mode, rewinding, pausing and replaying those cherished moments.  Those two people whom I love the most and would die for-without batting an eyelash- are my daughter and Significant Other.

The fates were smiling down on me this weekend, as ex-husband agreed, without force or grave threats, to not “borrow” my daughter.   That didn’t sound quite right, did it? I think I just made my daughter a commodity there.

Anyway, I never thought that spending hours at the mall with a five-year old can be so much fun.  She proved to be a worthy shopping companion, spewing out fashion tips along the way.  It was the first time she joined me in the department store changing room.  It’s utterly amazing and amusing to see how she thinks beyond her years.  Eating out with her was an enjoyable experience too.  I finally found someone who’d willingly laugh at my jokes- and totally get them!

As for Mr. SO, it was heartwarming to sing the Bangles’ Eternal Flame with him in the car while braving rush hour traffic.  I was almost dumbfounded at how he knew the lyrics to the song, considering that he’s many years younger than me.  Must be an old soul, this guy…

These two people have shown me love in its truest and purest form.  I don’t know how else to describe how happy and inspired they make me feel.  Whenever I feel  my mood doing a nosedive, I can always replay our happy moments together… and I am once more alive.

This One’s For Him

DISCLAIMER:  Be warned that this post is high in cheese content.  If you cannot stand any more mozzarella or cheddar, then leave now.  Otherwise, read on and witness how this particular post rates high in the cheesiness scale.  I’m not particularly one who is comfortable exposing her feelings in a blog post, but I guess, exceptions are acceptable once in a while.  It’s not as if I’m washing my dirty laundry in public, because if anything, this post is akin to showing off my knickers in all their godly cleanliness.

I hardly consider myself a poet, so I won’t try to be one.  As much as I would like to write a much-deserved ode to Mr. SO (Significant Other), all I could come up with is a comprehensive list of why I love him:

  • He thinks about having my car fixed.   He gets up early in the morning to come over and give me a much-needed hand with car repairs.
  • His patience stretches far and wide.  He has continued to bear with my somewhat frequent emotional eccentricities.  He continues to love me despite my shortcomings, and accepts me for who I am, imperfections and all.
  • He is fiercely loyal.  Staying true to the woman he loves is almost tattooed on his skin.  It’s an unwritten rule for him to be faithful to the one he loves.
  • He is God-fearing.  A man who has a steadfast faith in God is, without a doubt, somebody who would never do anything to hurt his woman.  He has a conscience which works overtime at helping him discern which is right from wrong.
  • He speaks softly, but carries a big stick.  He is mild-mannered and slow to anger (well, maybe except when someone cuts him off at an intersection).  Silent waters do run deep, and he is one emotional and intellectual Marianas Trench- with a sense of humor to boot.

That’s enough cheese for now.  Obviously, I love the man to bits.  Happy birthday, Mr. SO!