Faith Over Fear: When Growing Old Doesn’t Suck

Looking in the mirror is the first thing I do when I get up in the morning.  Today, I got the shock of my life, as I saw one white strand of hair!  I was faced with the decision whether to pull it out or not.  I decided not to.

And then, the question just had to present itself: Am I aging?

I must be in denial, yes.  I don’t want to grow old.  Not just yet.  Time, be my friend…

Oh, but I must accept the fact that I’m not getting any younger.  Before I know it, fine lines are going to make manifest on my face.  Instead of buying myself a nice Equi Theme jacket and a funky pair of riding boots from an equestrian clearance sale, I’ll have to get me one of those anti-aging creams.

What’s so bad about aging, anyway?  Sure, arthritis and episodes of dementia will set in, but that’s just how things go.  Nobody stays young forever.

With age comes wisdom, they say.  That’s true, I guess.  Over the years, both the bitter and sweet events in my life have taught me important life lessons which have shaped me into the woman I am today.

But I must admit that I am afraid to grow old.  Maybe it’s the uncertainty that comes with it.  I fear about the future- my daughter’s future.  I want her to live out her dreams, whatever they may be.  If her fascination with the London 2012 Olympics is any indication, she may just end up being that equestrian I have always wanted to be.

I fear about my future.  I don’t want to grow old alone.  I do long for a lifetime partner to grow old and hold hands with on the front porch while sipping tea and listening to 80’s music.

This is where faith has to come in.  I should have faith in God, in the future, and in myself.  If I learn to trust Him, I shouldn’t be so afraid of what will happen.  I’m in good hands.

I Wish I Had Facial Hair

No, you definitely are not looking at a typo, nor have I gone totally insane- at least I don’t think so!  I just sometimes wish I were male.  Yes, I wish was one of those chaps who burped on command and knew what RF coaxial connectors were all about.  If by some twist of fate I suddenly wake up to find myself a brewing pot of androgen, then I would be pleased, because I will then have transformed into a single dad.



Single dads win over single moms in the attractiveness department.  Based on my observation, single fathers seem to have it much easier when it comes to snatching someone from the opposite sex.

You know how a single man walking around the park with a dog attracts women passing him by?  That’s pretty much how it works with single dads.  I don’t mean to compare kids to dogs (they’re both cute, by the way), but they somehow serve the same purpose- they both make single dads or men appealing.

When a woman meets a single dad, she gets the impression that he is nurturing, caring and loving.  Any man in touch with his feminine side scores points with the ladies on any given day.

On the other hand, when a man meets a single mom, she inevitably drops a notch or two on the sexiness scale.   The thought of “excess baggage” rears its ugly head and sometimes repels men, as if the woman had bad breath.

I guess that’s just how things are.  There are simply some stereotypes which we can’t readily shake off.

But then again, there are instances when it hardly matters whether a single woman has kids or not.  I do know some single moms who have found love in its truest form.  They have found real men who have accepted them despite their not-so-pleasant past.  Maybe I’m just jealous.

What’s your take on this?


My Unwritten Dream


There’s a fairly good reason why my favorite subject back in school was Math.  The answer is either wrong or right, no gray area whatsoever.  It’s an exact science.

When it came to essay writing though, I remember being a bit on the edge of my seat on most occasions.  The thought of writing term papers loomed over me like dark clouds on an otherwise sunny day.

Sure, I had a million and one thoughts racing through my head, waiting for the chance to be immortalized in print, but the problem was in organizing them.  I’d jump from one topic to the next, as I wasted so much paper and made my pinky sore from typing on the typewriter (Yes, it was that long ago!).  I wanted to impress my teachers so much, that if it was available then, I would have enlisted the help of a professional writing service such as Essay Site to give me that stellar manuscript I so desired.

That almost makes me wonder why I’m now sucked into the realm of blogging.  My writing may still be far from stellar, but I do enjoy what I do.  I’ll just keep pushing myself to become a better writer and who knows, that first novel may just be waiting in the wings…

A Happy Rewind: Looking Back On Friendships Past

There’s just something about rainy days that make me all nostalgic.  The pitter-patter of the raindrops on the rooftops sends me back to my childhood.  As I sit here, looking out the window, imagining those raindrops to be lemon drops and gum drops, I suddenly remember my old pen friend.

I was in grade 4 when I had a pen friend from Germany.  We religiously wrote each other back, trading pictures and stories of our growing pains.  Whenever I’d get mail from her, I remember tearing the envelope with so much fervor, that it would make the mailman grin in amusement.  It felt like heaven.

I imagine how she is now.  Did she finally marry her hot boyfriend back then?  Will she and I ever get to meet personally after all these years?

The internet seems to answer everything, so I looked up how to find people by area code or name. I came across this website which allows you to find people from your past, simply by keying in their name, age, location in the search toolbar.  They then scour online profiles and databases and come up with a list of search results with their contact info.  It’s pretty amazing how the internet makes the world a smaller place.

I have to admit though, nothing beats the thrill you get from receiving mail, and sniffing that scented stationery…  But we always must keep moving forward, because that’s the only way to go.

TAFKAP: The Artist Formerly Known As Pepper

Betcha by golly wow, I am not a perfect person!  There are close to a thousand and one things I’d like to change about myself.  Sure, we always say, “We’re only human!” but is there anything wrong with striving for perfection- or at least, self-improvement?  We may never be flawless but we can always snip away at our nasty habits and unappealing traits.  As for me, here are some things I’d like to work on when it comes to my personality overhaul:

Temper.    My pot boileth over when things don’t go as planned.  I seethe with anger when my daughter tries to battle it out with me during a habitual power struggle.  Curse words come out of my mouth when some driver with an IQ of 50 tries to cut me off at the intersection.  Little things set me off like a dynamite.

Needless worry.  The operative word here is “needless”.   I read somewhere that “Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.”  That’s one lesson I’d like to drill into my thick skull.  Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been an advocate of worry, and it hasn’t done me any good- healthwise.  I often find myself losing sleep because of worrying over the smallest of things.

If I am known to possess those traits, I would like to do away with them.  It will take tremendous willpower to change one’s personality, but I will do it.   Like a boxer trying to knock his opponent down by round 5, I will damn well do it.

How about you?  Is there anything about yourself which you know you can possibly change- or improve?