Faith Over Fear: When Growing Old Doesn’t Suck

Looking in the mirror is the first thing I do when I get up in the morning.  Today, I got the shock of my life, as I saw one white strand of hair!  I was faced with the decision whether to pull it out or not.  I decided not to.

And then, the question just had to present itself: Am I aging?

I must be in denial, yes.  I don’t want to grow old.  Not just yet.  Time, be my friend…

Oh, but I must accept the fact that I’m not getting any younger.  Before I know it, fine lines are going to make manifest on my face.  Instead of buying myself a nice Equi Theme jacket and a funky pair of riding boots from an equestrian clearance sale, I’ll have to get me one of those anti-aging creams.

What’s so bad about aging, anyway?  Sure, arthritis and episodes of dementia will set in, but that’s just how things go.  Nobody stays young forever.

With age comes wisdom, they say.  That’s true, I guess.  Over the years, both the bitter and sweet events in my life have taught me important life lessons which have shaped me into the woman I am today.

But I must admit that I am afraid to grow old.  Maybe it’s the uncertainty that comes with it.  I fear about the future- my daughter’s future.  I want her to live out her dreams, whatever they may be.  If her fascination with the London 2012 Olympics is any indication, she may just end up being that equestrian I have always wanted to be.

I fear about my future.  I don’t want to grow old alone.  I do long for a lifetime partner to grow old and hold hands with on the front porch while sipping tea and listening to 80’s music.

This is where faith has to come in.  I should have faith in God, in the future, and in myself.  If I learn to trust Him, I shouldn’t be so afraid of what will happen.  I’m in good hands.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

Catch me on G+.


  1. Ive been aging for so long. I’m just thankful to be alive at my aging age :)

  2. The Detox Diva says

    I remember when I found my first white hair on my eyebrow….. I freaked out. Now, I have a few so I can’t pull them out but yes, I think like you, though I am going to fight it ever step of the way, with age comes wisdom.

  3. I always said I would cherish gray hair when the day comes…and then the day came, lol. I have found a few in the past year, and everyone of them has been torn out at the roots, lolol. I do appreciate some things that come w/getting older though…like not giving a hoot about superficial things that once meant so much; not being overly focused on outward appearance (though I do enjoy a nice outfit), and other such similar things.

    If your profile picture is still accurate, you don’t have anything to worry about. You look great (and very young!). :)

  4. I’m the 1st one to tell everyone that natural grey is beautiful but I also haven’t gotten any yet so I don’t know how I’ll react! I’m petrified of growing old, I think mostly because I don’t want my girls to have to go through the pain of seeing me change.

  5. Faith does play a big part in allying fears. Aging is a part of life and I have grown to accept it too.

  6. Leigh says

    One hair? DOn’t sweat it – there are plenty more where that came from ;)
    Just kidding. It’s stressful – but a priveledge to grow old. And you are not old yet!

  7. I have totally embraced my grey hair, and most like it. I don’t mind it at all, and I HAVE earned it. I finally in my 4th decade don’t feel like a punk kid anymore. It feels good now at this decade, but maybe next decade I’ll be more sensitive. It’s normal to be sensitive about aging, but you look like you’re about 20! You’ll also meet someone when you are not looking, and least expect it;)

    • Wow, thanks for the compliment! That just made my day :) Yup, I better stop looking and just let Mr. Right make his way into my life. thanks :)

  8. when I was at my 20s I never cared about ageing but when I reached my 30s all I worry about was that. Maybe because I don’t want to be typecast as old or conservative or boring because sometimes people associate old as that.

  9. It will happen darling, you’re too sweet for it not to. You only need to meet one good man, not 50, so it’s bound to happen. What makes it feel difficult is the lonely void that seems so empty and overwhelming and big and alone when we are single, it makes us feel like nothing could change. But it does, and it will xx

  10. I don’t feel old yet, I like my age – I’d rather be where I am with the knowledge and wisdom I’ve got than be that 20-something again the way I was back then. I hope I’ll keep on feeling this way, but who knows. I’m definitely not handling this pregnancy as well as the other two, but is it a sign of age or just that I am less fit?

    • Yes, I guess we are at a better place now than we were when we were in our 20’s :)
      Hmmm… as for your pregnancy, do you feel you’re not as fit? Yes, I guess it’s our age. Take care.

  11. Aging gracefully is what everyone prays for.. And I pray to see myself age gracefully
    Wishing you a wonderful Sunday..

  12. Sue Invegas says

    God has a plan for us all. Keep the faith Pepper someone will come along when you least expect it!! We need faith because we always fear the unknown. You were blessed with your daughter you will be blessed with a wonderful man someday!!!! Love reading your blog!

  13. Remember aging is better than the alternative.

  14. no way!!! life does not even BEGIN until 50!!

  15. I’m aging as well, haha! But I know God has a lot in store for you, white hair or not :)

  16. As long as we age gracefully, we have nothing to be afraid of. :)

  17. Ah, I say pull out those gray or white hairs, for now. As long as there’s only one or two, it’s no biggie. Unfortunately for me, I am at the point where I would have an inch-wide part if I pulled out all my grays (why are they ALL at my part where everyone can see them?????!!).

    “I do long for a lifetime partner to grow old and hold hands with on the front porch while sipping tea and listening to 80’s music.” This line made me laugh because I always imagine what my retirement home will be like. We’ll all be a bunch of old ladies trying to jam to “Come on, Ilene” and “Jesse’s Girl.”

    • LOL! I love those songs! We should stay in the same retirement home, then :). Let’s dye our hair orange and yellow while we’re at it :)

  18. Mitchteryosa says

    I used to not worry about aging but the moment I reached 35 (that was a year ago teehee!), I began to worry after seeing the changes.

    I have become conscious and started having a routine, beauty routine that is hehe!

  19. No need to fear. You’re in good hands. I enjoy being old because this is the time for me to devote much of my time ser5ving the Lord.

  20. I think what is important is in the inside. :-) Anyway, technology can make your hair black again.

  21. I’ll be honest, while I appreciate the wisdom and all that, and am not freaked enough that I’ll have plastic surgery or anything drastic like that, I DO NOT like aging! Maybe because I regret not appreciating my assests when I was younger and don’t want the few left to go by the wayside because I am appreciating them now, or maybe because I’m single and that make me feel older. Who knows? Regardless, I don’t like it!

    • You’re right, maybe it’s because we’re single, that’s why we feel older than we really are :). We still have time to appreciate our assets, right? :)

  22. I’ve felt that way before. I’m pretty delayed in my educational levels and my classmates are mostly younger than me. It made me feel like I’m old and having them call me ‘Mom’ doesn’t really help. But then I realized that if I get to live up to 100 which is unlikely but not impossible. I haven’t reached 1/5 of my life and I got 4/5 of it to make the most of. :)

  23. Faith is never easy (at least to me), more so when we most need it…in times of uncertainty or grief, brokenness, etc. But sometimes we just have to believe we can make it, don’t we?….If not for our sake, then for those we love most like our kids. Aging is something I’m also confronting now (as you know) and it’s not the easiest to accept. But as you said, what can we do? Good luck Pepper! Good luck to us. At least we know we’re not alone, right? ;-)

    • Yes Joy, good luck to us :) Is it pathetic that even at this age, I’m still finding my true self? You seem to have it all figured out- even if you claim otherwise :). Or maybe we’re simply too hard on ourselves?

  24. Florence LM (@onegutsymom) says

    I have the same fear too, but that was before I gave birth to my lovely daughter. Life makes a lot of sense and really I don’t care about aging..I worry about staying healthy instead.

  25. A few gray hairs just show us how wise we are– or that is what I like to tell myself since I have been getting gray hairs since I was 18.
    And yes, God does have a plan for us

  26. It’s a matter of framing the mindset. They’re right, growing old should be looked at as a privilege and blessing. About that white hair, I didn’t have that freaking episode because I’ve had few white hairs since I was in 4th grade. Looking at it on a positive note, better that it gets gray or white than not having any use for the comb or brush. :-)

    Aging cannot be avoided…the best we could do is to delay it. At least, we shouldn’t look older than our chronological age hehehe.

    • Right, it’s all in the mind :). I must start conditioning- my mind, not my hair :) Yes, we can’t avoid aging no matter how hard we try.

  27. And now I find myself rubbing my forehead looking for wrinkles.

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