Her Achy-Breaky Heart

I sported the look of a completely clueless mom as my daughter came home from school one day, all giggly and excited to break the exciting news to me: one of her boy classmates just whispered in her ear that he had a crush on her!  Totally thrilling for her, but hardly so for me.   Is this what the world has come to? Preschoolers are professing their feelings to one another?

But I have to admit, I did feel a bit flattered that a guy has the hots for my babe of a daughter.   This raises a red flag too.  Although I know for a fact that my kid won’t come home from Kindergarten with a marriage proposal, I’m still a bit fearful for the future.  The reality of future heartbreak looms in the horizon.

Ah, heartbreak!  Many a sonnet has been written on this most wretched of pains.  Unless your daughter- or son- grows up to be among the lucky minority who end up marrying their first lover, he or she is bound to have his heart crushed to smithereens down the line.  When that time comes, what can we, as parents, do to help ease the burden for our most precious one?

Leave her be.  Right after a breakup, your daughter will most probably want to cry her eyes out inside her room.  Don’t force her to open up to you right away.  She will when she feels like it.  Just be sure to keep dangerous objects out of her reach.  Suicide or self-mutilation isn’t entirely out of the picture.

Don’t trivialize the situation.  Don’t even think about saying that what she’s going through is as thrilling as a theme park ride, compared to your breakup with your high school boyfriend.  Telling her that things could be worse will only intensify her pain.  She has every right to embrace her pain.  That is hers and hers alone.

Dial a friend.  Her friend, that is.  Get one of her close friends to maybe stay with her in her room, as she may feel more comfortable opening up to her- at least at the onset of the breakup.

Seeing your daughter buried deep in misery would naturally send you rushing to the pharmacy for a dose of strong tranquilizer, but this is hardly the time for you to panic.  When she hits rock bottom, she needs you to be there for her.  Just remember to take it easy with the pacifying, as she may need some breathing space.  The whole world may crumble around her, but with your steady love, she will be like Gloria Gaynor and will survive.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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Comments

  1. Great advice. And from experience, DO NOT let them go to a party with folks you never met that night just because you wanted so bad to make them feel better. At least in my case, all good decisions flew out the window and make a break-up and big ol’ mess.

    Pam

  2. hay same here Peps..my daughter also has the same problem and even worse..ahay every time she goes to school from nursery until now she’s in pre-school his classmates even wanted to kiss her..so as a Mom I did talked to her teacher..thank your reminder and tips Peps ;)

  3. It seems you have already prepared yourself for that time when your daughter is already a teenager. Time flies after all. :-)

  4. Oh these types of moments will be heart breaking…and it will be so hard to just let them be…but you are so right!

  5. awww man. not looking forward to that. I remember it all to well when i had to go through it.

  6. My daughter is now 14 and so far her crushes are celebrity young boys. I wonder what would she tell me if she starts liking boys in her school environment. ^^

    Thanks for dropping by.

  7. Yay, iba na talaga ang mundo ngayon. Thanks for visiting sis! :)

  8. Anne @ GreenEggs&Moms says

    Oh gosh…. I haven’t even thought of this. I have a boy and I’m gonna have to teach him how to r-e-s-p-e-c-t (break out into song and dance now) girls. :)

    I enjoyed this post, Pepper.

  9. So far, only my boys have made it to the heartbreak stage. Thankfully they’ve made it through well. Your advice is definitely good advice :)

  10. What an important topic! My girl is almost to her teens. I can’t help telling her to PLEASE ask Mom for advise in this area, lol! I like your blog and am following. Thanks for your visit and comment on Susanna’s Apron. Blessings!
    Lisa

  11. hahhaa…I thought it’s pretty cute…kakakilig naman! hay puppy love nga naman…:)

  12. Oh gosh, I am in denial that my daughter will ever grow up, let alone get her heartbroken. I can only hope that I deal with it well, as you describe here…

    Thanks for your comment on my blog, I appreciate the encouragement! =)

  13. It’s not that I like this post, I really do feel it. I have a daughter and I’m encountering different obstacles with her every day. I think as a father a lot of patience and tolerance is needed from both sides for everythingto work out well.

  14. HAHA, there’s a saying that daughter is half lover for her farther, it seems true.

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