How and when to introduce your kids to someone you’re seriously dating

You’ve been going out with this guy, er, man for quite some time now, and you feel you want to add a new dimension to your relationship by introducing him to your kid. Slow down, cowgirl! Letting your child in on your romantic endeavors is easier said than done. And of course, there is a right time for everything. Remember to think first before acting on gut feel. Sure, your significant other has given you rose-tinted glasses with which to view the world, but introducing him to your kid at the inopportune time might just break that newfound positive outlook on life.

There is no exact time frame to determine when the proper time is to introduce your special someone to your child. It varies from person to person. It depends on the level of commitment you both are in. If you both see yours as a lifelong relationship, even after seeing each other for only a month, then that may be a good sign. On the other hand, you may have been dating this man for 2 years now, but don’t really see the relationship going anywhere further than sharing a hot cup of latte after a sweaty game of pingpong. Then, this guy is best pigeonholed in the “friends” department.

It’s essential to assess how easily your child gets attached to people. If she tends to easily get attached to someone, better save the introductions until the time when you’re sure that the relationship has a future. Otherwise, your kid may develop some resentment and feel pain if and when your relationship with your significant other gets sour. The pain of loss may be too much for her, and you, to bear.

When you do decide that it’s time, start easy. Take your kid with you and your boyfriend to a kid-friendly place, or a picnic maybe. Introduce your man as your friend. Dividing your attention between these two special people in your life will be a skill you’ll have to master. Your kid may need more of that, since this new person you introduced to him or her poses as a threat, or competition when it comes to gaining your love and attention. If your man truly loves you, he’ll understand.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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Comments

  1. Agree with everything you have posted here. I guess, it’s really difficult to gauge the exact time to introduce someone special to a child or children especially of the parent has been single for sometime.

    Thanks for your comment in my Home blog. I still scratch my head and wonder about my teener’s angst :(

  2. I can’t relate much because I am a happily married woman, but I do think your post is written well and the thoughts are genuine. Keep it up! :)

  3. good luck sis hope that everything will went fine.

    hope to hear from u on my post:

    http://fromwalatookay.blogspot.com/2011/05/skin-shop-cosmetics-and-their-bb-creams.html

  4. considering my status, i can’t relate much as well but i do see your point. most SMs tend to forget the feelings of attachment the child may have towards the current partner. great job, peps! keep it up! :)

  5. MommyLES says

    on my end, when I entered into a relationship with my current hubby- I laid down my cards on the table and informed him of my status. I even discouraged him at first, because he was several years younger than me- but the guy is persistent. When I entered into a relationship with him..I immediately introduced him to my kids.. :)

  6. WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for single moms and
    dating

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