Oh, The Thinks She Can Think!

As I was driving my six-year old daughter to school one morning, I told her how anxious I was about another weekend without her.  I’m a weekend orphan, as she spends weekends with her dad.  With wisdom pulled out from I don’t know where, she calmly tells me that I shouldn’t be sad even if she’s away.  “Mama, why don’t you go out with your friends?  You’re happy when you see me playing with my friends, right?  It’s the same… I’m happy when you see your friends.”

I couldn’t help but smile after she consoled me with those words.  It was jaw-dropping to think how mature she seems for her age.  There was nobody else there to witness that spectacle of wisdom, but I was beaming with pride at my little girl’s views on life.  At the rate she’s going with her smarts, I’m pretty sure that learning the ropes of government contracting basics will be a breeze for her- if she decides to pursue a career in that direction.

She has just taught me a valuable lesson in parenting.  When you give their kids everything, it gives them the impression that you don’t have a life of your own.  It sends a message to them that you don’t value yourself, because you have put your needs at the bottom of your priorities list.

I have built my entire world around my daughter and have let go of my identity.  I have given up so many things for her, but instead of her appreciating this, it makes her feel sad, knowing that this is slowly gnawing at my personal happiness and contentment.  This self-sacrifice is doing me- and her- more harm than good, I realized.

So on this solo Saturday night, I’ll grab this opportunity to just enjoy and bury myself in some reality TV.    Life isn’t only about Phineas and Ferb it seems…

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

Catch me on G+.


  1. She is so wise. :)

  2. Oh what a smart girl. You must be really proud on how she views life at her very young age.

  3. Rovie @ Street Smart says

    She is such a smart little girl. She is full of wisdom at an early age and that only shows that you have raised her well.

    Congrats Mommy! Way to go with single mommy-hood journey.

  4. She has your smarts, Pepper! ;)

  5. What a smart child! You know what they say.. you can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of you first. I guess it’s true and even she knows it. :)

  6. That’s both very smart and very sweet. I am actually tearing up a little.

  7. Your daughter is smart! And it is so unexpected for her to say those words! You should be proud of her.. :D

  8. Good for you! If you don’t do something for yourself here and there, you will go insane. Your daughter is extremely thoughtful:)

  9. She is really wise beyond her age. Yeah..you should go out and have fun with your friends too:)

  10. WOW!!!You are doing great! I hope when the weather gets nice you can try horseback riding, it will help with balance and make your heart overfilled with joy!

  11. A beautiful reflection on personal life and parenting. It’s quite understandable to love our kids that much to the point of losing ourselves.

    That’s why it is a deliberate effort to have a world outside our loved ones, to learn to fill our love tanks even without them. So when it overflows, there’s a bucketful of love to give. =)

    As the old saying goes, “we cannot give what we don’t have.” So we learn to give love to ourselves first. =)

  12. one smatr cookie there 8)

  13. You’re daughter is so sweet.

    Your realization got me thinking too. I agree that some mothers lose their identity or at least some part of it when they become mothers. This is happening to me too (as in right now). I also agree that sometimes losing ourselves is doing more harm than good. But I guess it’s also human nature that sometimes we forget ourselves to make sure that our babies our doing okay. I think you’re doing a great job. Your sacrifices are all worth it so give yourself a pat in the back and always remember that you’re awesome!

  14. Lucky you! That’s one smart kid you got there. Plus her EQ’s one thing you can never underestimate. God bless you, you’re doing a great job on your kid and yourself too :)

  15. she’s telling you to spend your weekends with Fedhz!

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