Reconstruction of a Broken Heart

It’s all that asteroid’s fault- you know, the one that hit the earth billions of years and wiped out the dinosaurs from the face of the earth.  If it weren’t for that asteroid, human beings would never have evolved, and I would never have been born.  I wouldn’t have to go through pain and heartbreak, then.

Don’t blame me if I think I’m cursed.  It’s either that, or the universe is pulling my leg.  I’ve gone through a string of failed relationships, that it’s almost hard to believe that I will ever really find the ONE.  Those rose-colored glasses have lost their magic, and no longer do the trick.

I won’t even begin to spew out a list of things to do to get over a breakup, as this is never a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.  We all have our own ways of coping, and recover at varying speeds.  I have a few suggestions for coping mechanisms, though, but these are not in any way to be taken as therapeutic:

Wallow, if you must.  Those first few days after a breakup are sheer hell.  Don’t even force yourself to go out if you don’t feel like it.  Stay in your room, shred those love letters to tiny bits, pack the stuff your ex gave you inside a box, and donate them to charity.

Vent.  When you’re ready, talk to someone.  Be prepared to hear what you may not want to hear, though.  They will always have good intentions, but sometimes what they will say may not agree with you like bad pie in your stomach.  Instead, maybe you can just ask them to keep reminding you of the good things about you.  A crushed ego goes hand in hand with heartbreak, so your family and friends will do well to rebuild your spirit by giving you a recap of your good points.

Call him.  This may not exactly seem helpful, but it is.  People will keep telling you to stay away from your ex, but the more they restrain you, the more you’ll feel the urge to bust out like cup C breasts in a cup A bra.  If you feel like calling or texting him, go ahead.  The pain you subject yourself may just serve as the impetus to eventually cut off ties with him and move on.

Stay true to yourself.  People may advise you to go out, have fun.  Although painting the town red may sound like a quick fix, well that’s just what it is- a quick fix.  At the end of the day, you’ll have to head home, hit the sack and face all the hurt again.  If you’re naturally a homebody, stick to your routine.  Sure, the pain will keep gnawing at you as you go about your daily business, but sooner or later, it will become part of you, and you’ll hardly know it’s there.   Somebody- I don’t know exactly who- said that “you don’t get over the pain, you just get used to it”.

Healing from a broken heart is never easy.  Sure, it may feel like going through a dark tunnel with no end, but there is always an end.  Whatever you do, don’t forget to love yourself.  You’re all you’ve got.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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Comments

  1. I agree with all your points.

  2. This sounds cheesy for me but everytime I remember my first heart break, like you said above, “wallow”. i stayed in my room, lights off so no one in our house will see me sad.

  3. Sound advice for those mending a broken heart. Point three is really a surprising tip but doing so will definitely relief one of lingering questions and who knows it may start a new beginning.

  4. Whatever you’re going through right now, you’re the only one who can save yourself. Mending a broken heart indeed is never easy, but it can be done. All in God’s perfect time. Don’t lose faith in love, though. IT IS THERE, SOMEWHERE. And you’ll surely find it when fate thinks you’re ready.

    *super Mommy hugs for you, sis Pepper*

  5. Gigi Beleno says

    My first heart break teaches me some lessons in life and learned a lot from there. No worry, soon you’ll find the right guy.

  6. Mending a broken heart is a very traumatic stage. Sometimes, it takes forever to relieve the pain. It’s a process that needs a lot of time and courage. To move on and forget about everything that transpired seem to be impossible but if you keep the FAITH… God will surely lead your way to a brighter morning.

  7. Pepper, I feel for you. We are on the same boat :(
    Yes, most people will tell you to stay away from him by all means, but I agree that calling him and telling him everything that you need to tell will help you move on. Don’t bottle things up. Maybe it’s different for each person but it does help me if I’m able to tell everything that I keep inside and then I let go and start anew.

  8. Describe Her says

    Healing a broken heart is not easy. I agree with CALL HIM, it worked for me before.

  9. “Healing from a broken heart is never easy.” This is exactly what I am thinking right now. But we have to remember that healing is a CHOICE.

  10. This is a very comprehensive topic but it works well when treated as per personal experience. Mending a broken heart can be tricky too, you need a sensitive background check on the concerned individual.

  11. I am sorry. I will always believe us guys have the shortcomings. So I just want to say sorry in behalf of your ex. The heart as reasons which reasons knows nothing of and what does not kill you makes you stronger. One day and it may be soon you will fall on somebody’s arm and it will be an arm you will treat as a pillow. I hope it is a pillow you will hold on to forever. Although there is no such thing as forever. Cheers!

  12. Justin | Hari ng Lakbay says

    I’ve been there. But I always believe that something good will turn around, the best is yet to come. And that’s true!

  13. Healing a broken <3 is easier talking the closest friends you have over beer bottles, haha! Kidding… anyways, time has its own ways of healing in any magical ways… this things might be helpful to some but some people really aee taking hard time

  14. Jason Anton says

    there are so many ways to heal your broken hearts.. Look for it maybe it’s in the eyes of others. :)

  15. Great advice.. I always believe that if you truly love someone, it would take more than a year to move on because that’s what real love is.. and if you get broken-hearted, never be mad because in the first place, you fell in love by chance not by choice.. do not ask something in return.. just truly love.. :)

    Cheers~!

    – Justin –
    The World According To Me

  16. It was really never to begin with. That is emotional damage and the pain can last long even with effort of healing.

  17. I agree on the last part. Love yourself coz you’re all you’ve got. :)
    It’s really hard going through it but yes, time really heals. Let yourself go through all those if you must and eventually all will be better and move forward.

  18. healing from a broken heart is never easy indeed. just remember that no matter how painful it is, you will get through it. lilipas din yan…time heals all wounds remember..Yahweh bless

  19. Same here sis. What you feel right now is what I feel for the past weeks now. Maybe we need to be alone It maybe sounds like selfishness but we need to be like that for now because we don’t deserve it, we deserve more. Cheer up sis as long we have our little ones we will continue life without heartaches. ^_^

  20. Ah, I’ve had my heart broken more times then I’d like to admit and I experienced the worst heartbreak to date this time last year. It’s hard enough with that alone, going through that whilst trying to keep yourself together as a good parent is a whole other matter. I hope I will have better luck one day and won’t need these tips but will keep them in mind ;)

  21. Heartbreak is so tough any time, but especially this time of year. I am sorry you are hurting.
    While you have given some really good advice, I humbly submit, please do not give up on finding your ONE. I had to date alot of jerks before I found my one. The one I am going to celebrate 20 yrs. of happy ever after with next week.
    Your ONE is out there… and don’t be surprised if he may be somebody you haven’t looked at in that way.. yet. He could be alot closer than you think. Mine sure was!

  22. Mending a broken heart is never easy because it really depends on the person on how to get over it.

  23. :( I hope you feel better soon.

  24. I think the key thing is to keep distracted until the time you are strong enough to confront your feelings.

  25. Most of the time you have to Let go and let GOD :)

  26. A matter of time and healing, just remember it’s all for a purpose.. and yes! call him!!!.. make things clear; finish the business; talk it out ..so we could heal.. but then please move on.

  27. Healing takes time. Don’t let your heart be tired of loving because of this one. Forgive but don’t forget the lessons this experience gave you.

  28. I haven’t checked in for a while, I hope you are feeling a lot better.

    I’ll have to disagree with “call him”. When I was in a similar situation, I only finally started getting over it when I broke all contact. Exercise helped a lot, too.

    • Nice to hear from you again, Tat! I have to admit that the calls started to die down this past week. It is helping, although it still stings from time to time. Thanks…

  29. Very well said! It’s always a wonderful thing to be able to recover from the hurt…there’s the memories – the good ones to look back to and those should -should always bring you a smile.

  30. I have been broken hearted many times, was divorced, a wedding that never happened(3 weeks na lang and he backed out) . I got the worst break up of my life, got sick, turned my back on everybody ,stopped listening to the music but life must go on. There are better life ans even the best waiting for us after all .Now, I got mine and never been better.I found the man who loves me more than I love him. Don’t stop loving.

    • Wow, I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been- to have your fiance back out at the last minute. Thanks for sharing this. Now I feel inspired :). Hopefully things will turn out well for me, in the same way they have for you :)

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