Shared custody: the good and the bad

I felt a slight pinch in my heart this afternoon as I walked my daughter to her father’s car, when he came over to pick her up for his weekend “visitation right”. That’s something I have to cope with each and every week. My ex-husband and I signed a compromise agreement with regards to custody of our daughter, so although my whole world seems to collapse whenever he fetches her, I just have to live with the situation.

Shared custody is somewhat difficult for me, but I should not think of myself too much here. My daughter does need to spend time with her father, as growing up with no father figure can be quite detrimental. It might affect her personality and how she deals with members of the opposite sex, as she grows up. I dread the thought of her, as an impressionable adolescent, looking for a man’s love in the wrong places. I wouldn’t want her to fall prey to a man’s false affections. Ok, paranoia is starting to set in again…

Co-parenting is beneficial to kids of divorced parents, as they still feel that both parents love them dearly despite the reality that they are no longer living together. Physically, the family may be broken, but emotionally, everything’s intact. The child manages to grow up confident in her parents’ love for her, thus she excels in school and in coping with the harsh realities of life.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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Comments

  1. that’s what matters most…family intact!

  2. You’re pulling it all really well Pepper…hard as it is, thinking of your daughter’s well-being will melt the worries and tension between you and her dad. Enjoy the week ahead…

  3. so sad but true… and honestly, i don’t know what to say… my parents are separated already but only just a few years ago… we already understand what’s happening and we have our own families as well. anyway, every thing will work out fine… have a nice week ahead!

  4. Way to go sis! I know it is hard but your positive views will make things easier. Just hold on.

    By the way, thanks for frequenting my site. You were one of the top commentators for May. :)

  5. This is indeed a difficult setting but for the sake of the child, you just need to swallow your pride.

  6. I can’t imagine myself in that situation Pepper. Parang ang hirap nga, pero tama si Jade swallow your pride for the sake of your daughter.

  7. I share custody of my son with his dad and have done since he was born. He now takes our son 3 days a week, something that I pushed for. I find it really hard only having my son 4 days a week but I have seen how much stronger his relationship is with his dad because they get solid time together which has to be more important then my pain at not having him.
    I know it’s tough but keep your chin up and just know that you are doing the right thing by your child.

  8. John Parent says

    This is another great post that would really help my daughter! I will be sending her the link to your site! Thanks and best wishes!

  9. Hey,
    I am really appriciate you for this blog posting because many persons facing these problems. Some boys are taking banifits of this types of daughters and these girls trust more then their parents so please share this link every where.
    Thanks

  10. lauren maftel says

    This Is a biggest problem now days most in the west.. Why parents doesnt understand they need love from both of you.. as i was a kid my parents have use to leave me in day care. why they don’t understand we need mom n dad with us no big bucks..

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