The Unofficial Breakup

When my 7-year old daughter grows up, I have dreams of her becoming a doctor or a renowned guitar player.  But because of the incredible mind-reading skill she oh so effortlessly displayed just last night, I do believe she could also make it big as a psychic.

Right after we finished dancing and sweating to Wannabe by the Spice Girls, she sat me down and looked me squarely in the eye.  “Mama, are you ok?”, she asked.   She must have sensed a negative vibe from me.  I said, “Right now, I’m not really ok, but I know I will be.”  And then she gave me a tight 20-second hug, and for that brief moment, I was back in my happy place.

I wasn’t in the cheeriest of moods, because I had some shocking news from this guy I have been spending a lot of time with for the past 4 or 5 months.  He and I weren’t actually a couple- not enough reason to change my Facebook status- but we did share happy times together.  I was simply sad, knowing that we can no longer do the things we used to do.

This unofficial breakup tore me apart that night.  The tears involuntarily gushed down my cheeks like Niagara Falls.

I hope he doesn’t read this.  He doesn’t know… he never did know how I felt about him all…this…time…

The Fish That Got Away…

I swear that I’m going to puke if somebody tells me, “there’s lots of fish in the ocean”.  Sure, there’s a whole garden variety of swimmy creatures out there, but what if I want just this one fish?  What if I’ve got my whole head wrapped around this one fish that complements me?

Love and relationships are a huge mess.  Love is quick sand disguised as a beautiful meadow.  You fall in, you fall out.  You make promises, you break them.  Sorry for the jaded view, but seemingly I have no luck in the love department.

Tempting as it is to listen to a string of Barry Manilow break up songs, I won’t.  It’ll only bury me deeper in misery.  Where I am right now, it couldn’t possibly get any deeper.

I’m looking desperately for the light at the end of this tunnel.  I wish I can just fall asleep and wake up weeks after and feel better.

4 Things I Learned This Weekend

  1. The World Series can be fun when you watch it with the one you love.  Baseball has always been as alien to me as sobriety is to Lindsay Lohan.  But this weekend, I finally learned how the game is played, and sincerely enjoyed watching it.  Although the concept of innings is still a bit of a blur to me, I pretty much have a firm grasp of the game- well enough to know when to applaud and when to curse the opposing team.
  2. A Quarter Pounder can be an expression of love.  Yes, burgers are the new flowers and chocolates.  I found it immensely sweet of Mr. Significant Other (SO) to think about what I was going to have for dinner as he was driving me home from our weekend together.  He stopped to buy me a quarter pounder to take home.  I chose something cheaper from the menu, but he insisted on the quarter pounder.
  3. Lemon-flavored beer tastes good.  Who would’ve thought?  It tasted like your regular beer with no aftertaste, and you can hardly notice any citrusy flavor.  I liked it.  On a scale of one to 10, I’d give it an 11.  Drinking it with your beloved while watching the World Series is highly recommended.
  4. A hug speaks volumes.  When he finally dropped me off, Mr. SO gave me a warm, tight hug as we said our goodbyes.  I felt a warm wave of love come over me, that my heart was about to burst from the love surge.

I can’t stop myself from doing a Julie Andrews and singing, “I must’ve done something good…”  When I think about it, I guess God is rewarding me for something good I’ve done in the past.  I am no angel, and I am severely flawed, so I am extremely overwhelmed for being blessed like this.   This wonderful weekend has made me the happiest woman on the face of the earth- let nobody tell you otherwise!


This Post Is Brought To You By a Sentimental Fool

I have to admit, I am that fool.  Whenever I spend fun times with two of the most important people in my life, I can’t help but keep replaying every moment in my head.  My brain hasn’t kept up with the times, though, so it still is in video cassette mode, rewinding, pausing and replaying those cherished moments.  Those two people whom I love the most and would die for-without batting an eyelash- are my daughter and Significant Other.

The fates were smiling down on me this weekend, as ex-husband agreed, without force or grave threats, to not “borrow” my daughter.   That didn’t sound quite right, did it? I think I just made my daughter a commodity there.

Anyway, I never thought that spending hours at the mall with a five-year old can be so much fun.  She proved to be a worthy shopping companion, spewing out fashion tips along the way.  It was the first time she joined me in the department store changing room.  It’s utterly amazing and amusing to see how she thinks beyond her years.  Eating out with her was an enjoyable experience too.  I finally found someone who’d willingly laugh at my jokes- and totally get them!

As for Mr. SO, it was heartwarming to sing the Bangles’ Eternal Flame with him in the car while braving rush hour traffic.  I was almost dumbfounded at how he knew the lyrics to the song, considering that he’s many years younger than me.  Must be an old soul, this guy…

These two people have shown me love in its truest and purest form.  I don’t know how else to describe how happy and inspired they make me feel.  Whenever I feel  my mood doing a nosedive, I can always replay our happy moments together… and I am once more alive.