The Revirginization of Me

Well, what do you know?  There is such a word!  I dared Google it, and was surprised to find out that such a word existed.  Simply put, it means restoring a woman’s virginity through surgery.

Before you get any ideas, let me clarify that I didn’t go under the knife to “reconstruct” any body part.  The revirginization I’m going through is more emotional and mental than physical.  Okay, maybe partly physical, since I haven’t had any form of sexual encounter in ages.  I sometimes feel that my womanly parts are reconstructing themselves because of “lack of use”.  I am now teetering on TMI, so I better go back to the emotional and mental aspects of this revirginization.

I am a virgin once more (insert Madonna’s Like a Virgin song here).  I’m a virgin in the sense that on certain occasions, I feel as if I’m back to my old self- my pre-mommy self.  On weekends when my daughter is away at her dad’s, I feel like I’m reverting back to singleblessedness.

I go back to thinking only of myself, to sleeping in without considering the needs of a dependent, cute, pint-sized, precocious, sweet and loving child.

I start taking the time to really comb my hair, parting it in a way that highlights my face.  I take longer baths, pampering myself with a luxurious bath gel.

This revirginization is good, I realize.  It helps me reconnect with who I am.

And then, I feel a sharp pain shoot through my heart.  Yes, I miss my daughter so bad, I count the hours until she gets back.  Revirginization is healthy, though I feel that a part of me dies everytime she leaves…


Holiday Orphan.Me

When I can’t type my password correctly, I know there’s something terribly wrong.  My fingers lose graceful coordination when something’s bothering me.

This coming weekend is something I’m not looking forward to.  The President (Lord, bless his balding head!) declared at the last minute that the 20th of August will be a holiday.  August 21st has already been previously declared a holiday, so that means we’re having a four-day weekend.

While a huge part of the population may be in a state of euphoria about it, I am so dreading those days.  Once again, I’m going to be an accidental holiday orphan.  Well, maybe not exactly “accidental”, as I almost always end up alone during holidays.  My daughter will spend that long weekend at her Dad’s, so that leaves me doing another Macaulay Culkin.

There will be no “significant other (SO)” to snuggle up with.  Truth be told, there’s a greater chance that a meerkat will show up at my doorstep than Mr. SO and I will spend time together.

Looking at the silver lining of this cloud, I can just think of it as valuable “me” time.  I can sleep in and not think of anybody else but myself.  I won’t have to look after anyone or make grilled cheese sandwiches… or watch Phineas and Ferb (who am I kidding, of course I’ll miss my little girl!).

And yes, I almost forgot about my friends.  I can go see them and pig out or do something out of the box.

Before I know it, my daughter will be back in my arms, and I shall be reborn… and probably have a meerkat as a pet.

Top 5 Single Mom Skills

A single mom’s- or any mom’s, for that matter- parenting resume would certainly stretch for miles, what with all the skills she has mastered over time. From nappy-changing to burping to giving advice to your daughter on her first heartbreak, we moms seem to have this knack for knowing when to pull out the guns at any given parenting circumstance. Here are just some of those skills single moms possess:

Holding back tears. No life is devoid of heartache and gut-wrenching, bawl-your-eyes-out sorrow. If you’re a single mom, you know better not to show your kids your emotions. Since you’re the only one they depend on, you have to be that stronghold for them. Even if your water runs dry, you have to devise ways to be the wellspring of their emotional and physical well-being.

Juggling. A single mom tries with all her might to multitask and juggle a million and one responsibilities in the air. As much as her sexy body can handle, she earns a living, vacuums the living room carpet and helps her kid with his homework all in one breath. In the process, I for one have likewise mastered the art of juggling balls- literally! It’s fun, you should try it! Who knows, you might end up in a circus act one of these days.

Role-playing. Oh, begone, you kinky mind! That’s not what I’m talking about here. But if you do possess THAT skill, I’m all for it! Anyways, a single mom takes on various personas as the need arises. With the absence of a father in the house, she has no choice but to act as both mom and dad to her kids. Short of growing chest hair and a deep voice, the single mom has to discipline her kid alone. On certain occasions, she’s a dancer who does a mean running man and Roger Rabbit to the tune of Justin Bieber’s “Baby”. She pushes her talents to the limit, if only to entertain her kids.

Negotiation. A single mom who shares custody of her child with the ex-hubby is one who learns how to amicably reach an agreement. She knows how to trade this for that, in order to come up with an arrangement which suits both parties.

Dodging rotten tomatoes. Any mom, at some point in her life, will have to learn to toughen up and just ignore negative comments hurled her way. Remember, sticks and stones…

Like what they say, parenting doesn’t come with a manual. We mothers just learn as we go along. There are hits and misses along the way, but in the end, mastering these parenting skills only makes us better persons who raise even better children.