The Fish That Got Away…

I swear that I’m going to puke if somebody tells me, “there’s lots of fish in the ocean”.  Sure, there’s a whole garden variety of swimmy creatures out there, but what if I want just this one fish?  What if I’ve got my whole head wrapped around this one fish that complements me?

Love and relationships are a huge mess.  Love is quick sand disguised as a beautiful meadow.  You fall in, you fall out.  You make promises, you break them.  Sorry for the jaded view, but seemingly I have no luck in the love department.

Tempting as it is to listen to a string of Barry Manilow break up songs, I won’t.  It’ll only bury me deeper in misery.  Where I am right now, it couldn’t possibly get any deeper.

I’m looking desperately for the light at the end of this tunnel.  I wish I can just fall asleep and wake up weeks after and feel better.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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  1. oh! i am sorry!! when i was writing my recent post about time and how it keeps getting the best of me i was also thinking back to those times when i was so heartsick that time was an even worse enemy! sometimes you just have to let your emotions run their course and watch a lot of bad tv :)

  2. Pepper, everything happens for a reason. I’m sorry that you are in this stage today, but I know you are in the process of becoming a stronger and better Pepper that would someday find the fish that deserves you. :)

  3. I’m so sorry you are going thru this. I know brighter and better days are ahead for you!

  4. Hang in there girl. This too shall soon become a distant, painfree memory

  5. Oh Pepper. I’m probably the worst to give you advice at the moment as I’m not chipper myself. But I’ve been hunting ferociously for ways to make myself feel better and the one thing that i keep referring to right now is that idea of living in the moment. (I’m going to blog about it.) When you live in the moment your intuition is free to support you and help you understand life better, and make better choices. Try and live in the moment when you can, it might just stop you from looking behind sadly, or looking forward fearfully. Big hugs xxx

    • Know what, after I read your comment, I have been trying to do that… living in the moment. I’m not an expert at it yet, but I’m getting there. Yes, it does help me feel better. Because, guilt, regret and worry are useless emotions. I love you :)

  6. Pepper, don’t listen to people saying stuff like that; they cannot know how you are feeling! You’ll come out this stronger…you’ll see!! Take care!!

  7. You know there are few things I dislike more than unsolicited advice… Praying for God’s perfect man in God’s perfect timing and your peace while you wait.

  8. It’s really hard to look for other “fishes” when you are dead set on just one. And yes, stay away from sappy break up songs. No help at all. For some weeks you’d probably feel like you just exist, but later on, after you get over it, I know that you’ll start living again. You’re a strong woman Pepper. This is just one of those bumps in the road that slows you down but you’ll recover past that.

  9. I am a strong believer that life eventually finds a way to balance things out. Like we can’t be in love or be lucky in it all the time but there will always be something to offset it. We just have to find the optimist in us to find that one good thing to hold on to and maybe… just maybe, that would be the one that would pull you out of the ‘tunnel’.

  10. You know what, I have the same sentiments few months ago. ;) Broke with my boyfriend for 5 years and I’m already in my mid-30’s! I thought I won’t find someone anymore after that, but fate intervened, and here I am about to tie the knot soon. Cheer up girl, I used to not believe in fate, but totoo pala! You’ll find the right guy for you, believe me. ;)

  11. Hi, Pepper! Let me give you a virtual hug, my dear sister. :)

    I would probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes. But think about it this way…God has better and bigger plans for you and your kid. Don’t worry about that fish who’d gotten away anymore. I’m pretty sure one day you’ll look back and say “Thank God that fish has gotten away.”

    You’ll see… :)

    Just keep praying and seeking God’s will in your life. The right man will come and you won’t have to find him. He will just land wherever you are…in God’s time.

  12. I can feel the frustration loud and clear, Pepper. But hey, there’s a time and place for everything. (Okay, that’s not even about fishes, but yes, you can go ahead and puke … just kidding!) Know what, not being lucky in love doesn’t mean the end. I agree with what Franc said. Take time to look beyond what you think you lack and find what makes you happy. Besides, I’m positive the right guy is, as well, just waiting for the right time. :)

  13. Hi Pepper, You gotta keep the chin up and keep soldiering on. We all have our own little problems and things that we wish we could simply change. I guess thats what makes us say at times “why is life so unfair”

    It sometimes appears that someone has “EVERYTHING” and others cant even find the most basic of needs…. while you are searching for that ideal partner for yourself…. keep in mind it could always be worse. I know its a common saying, but there are people in Africa who are starving.

    I always try to look at the bright side of things, and when ever there is a negative you just have to try your best to put a positive spin on it. In your case perhaps look at the positive of atleast you dont have smelly feet to deal with…..

    Oh and l should point out the bleeding obvious… you are a very beautiful woman on the inside as well as an extremely attractive woman on the outside. You perfect partner aint all that far away, just be sure to settle for nothing less than what you want and deserve…. someone who will love you and your daughter and treat you with respect and equality.

    All the best in the search, l am sure you will be posting about your “engagement” to some very lucky fella in the near future.

    Bye for now and good luck !!

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