The Revirginization of Me

Well, what do you know?  There is such a word!  I dared Google it, and was surprised to find out that such a word existed.  Simply put, it means restoring a woman’s virginity through surgery.

Before you get any ideas, let me clarify that I didn’t go under the knife to “reconstruct” any body part.  The revirginization I’m going through is more emotional and mental than physical.  Okay, maybe partly physical, since I haven’t had any form of sexual encounter in ages.  I sometimes feel that my womanly parts are reconstructing themselves because of “lack of use”.  I am now teetering on TMI, so I better go back to the emotional and mental aspects of this revirginization.

I am a virgin once more (insert Madonna’s Like a Virgin song here).  I’m a virgin in the sense that on certain occasions, I feel as if I’m back to my old self- my pre-mommy self.  On weekends when my daughter is away at her dad’s, I feel like I’m reverting back to singleblessedness.

I go back to thinking only of myself, to sleeping in without considering the needs of a dependent, cute, pint-sized, precocious, sweet and loving child.

I start taking the time to really comb my hair, parting it in a way that highlights my face.  I take longer baths, pampering myself with a luxurious bath gel.

This revirginization is good, I realize.  It helps me reconnect with who I am.

And then, I feel a sharp pain shoot through my heart.  Yes, I miss my daughter so bad, I count the hours until she gets back.  Revirginization is healthy, though I feel that a part of me dies everytime she leaves…


About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

Catch me on G+.


  1. Mich of Mich Eats and Shops says

    This is a lovely essay, Pepper. I guess when we get kids, they change our lives completely such that even when they’re not with us, they leave a mark that we cannot erase. :) I hope you enjoy your alone times though. :)

  2. motherhood is difficult. it changes us forever… everything has to be a balance, so that we don’t lose a part of ourselves while we embrace motherhood, right?

  3. Haha I know that word exist I encountered that before when I was talking with Dr. Belo and her vajayjay machine mwahahaha! No surger just sit down and let the chair do the revirginization! mwahaha

  4. Great title Pepper! You’ve inspired a blog post within me yet to come out. I was once a born again virgin! For ten years…in the physical sense.

    And I’m sorry you’re missing your daughter too.

  5. Being apart from my husband for the past three years is a revirginization of me, then. Haha! :)

  6. I guess its critical that you still have your alone time but of course, the greater part of your time and the one you’d value the most is your time with your daughter.

  7. I think we still need “me-time” in order to think what’s going on with our life. I am not a mom, but I love when my cute little nieces are spending their weekends in our home. Nakakarelax.

  8. I have never in my life heard the word ‘revirginization’. I learned something new today! It is always good to have some time alone to pamper ourselves and rejuvenate. That usually only last a day, til we start missing our children. It sounds like you enjoyed your time alone, take advantage of it!

  9. On the physical revirginization side, I read on Yahoo! just this week that there’s some kind of a gel that can restore a woman’s virginity.

    On the motherhood side, it’s been said time and again, a mother deserves time alone for herself. But like you, I, too, feel guilty whenever I start indulging in “me” time. I always wonder if my kids are having the same great time I am. It comes with the motherhood package, I guess.

  10. i love this post, it made me smile sa title pa lang :) your daughter is still lucky that her biological father has time for her, keep on moving sis, play that Madonna’s Like a Virgin song every now and then ahihi

  11. Mom of A and a says

    What will they think of next?! But I loved your take on that term! Thanks for sharing your feelings and emotions in that difficult time.

  12. Me-time is very important to us moms and I seldom do that, sad to say. Oh well… motherhood. But sometimes, I really feel the guilt of not spending time with my kids.

  13. Too true! We always want more me time, but then miss the little ones when they aren’t around… I used to look forward to my work trips when I’d be away for 4 days, but by the time the first night was done, I was missing the kids so badly it was almost a physical pain. Mommy-hood hits us right in the heart and settles there; you can’t get away :-)

  14. If you didn’t feel that sharp pain afterwards, you wouldn’t be the wonderful mother you are. I’m glad to hear you are gaining confidence and are enjoying some well-deserved ‘me’ time.

  15. Anne @ GreenEggs&Moms says

    Aww.. well I suppose it’s good to have time for yourself but do get how you would end up missing the kiddo!

  16. I have been in this spot, I never get a break because our families are 3 hours away, so my kiddies are always here, but maybe once a year they go to ther grandparents house for a weekend and boy oh boy I miss them terribly!

  17. I’m so glad that you are taking the time to pamper your self and enjoy just being you. We tend to lose ourselves a bit as parents and forget that it is equally important to take time just for us. Embrace it mama! Your title made me giggle to! =)

  18. If you have to be away from your daughter at times, why not give yourself the time you need to revirginize? I bet it has wonderful benefits (I can’t REMEMBER the last time I had time to soak in a tub!). I say go crazy with it and think of all kinds of ways/activities to just spoil yourself rotten. :)

  19. It does feel great to renew one’s self – emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually!

  20. then count me in. i wanna feel like singing a la madonna, too.
    i guess, when u start making families, raising kids, and all. u tend to give a whole part of yourself, too. that sometimes, we screamed, “freedom”. but, in the end, when that certain aspect of our life were to be “broken off” from ourselves…we feel distressed.
    and, yes, revirginization can be great with our id’s.

  21. This post really made me smile. :) Looking at the photo below the post, I think you still have it. You should go out sometimes and enjoy. Most of all, be happy about your life. Freedom is a state of mind. :) I know you can do it! xx

  22. revirginazation eh? I like that… sometimes.

    Because more than anything, motherhood is the best thing thats happened to me. But I like revirginazation once in awhile heheheh

  23. There’s a surgical procedure for that? I find the word to be sort of an oxymoron…

  24. I love how you write about your revirgination. There is more to the word :)

  25. This is indeed a nice post :) I simply love how you gave new meaning to the word :))

  26. The Detox Diva says

    Lovely post. I like the part about you taking the time to pamper yourself, something we mommies forget to do often. Don’t worry about not having romance or sex right now, by the way. It will come, in time, when the universe knows you are ready to undertake another relationship! Until then, keep nurturing your soul like you are.

    • Thanks :). Yes, I have to believe that romance will come at the right time :)
      While we’re on the topic of caring for oneself, I just started taking a wheatgrass drink last week. I want to know your take on that, since you’re the detox expert ;). Will that really benefit me? I drink only a glass a day. Will that do? thanks :)

      • The Detox Diva says

        Pepper, wheatgrass is incredibly beneficial for you, detoxing, nourishing. It is one of my favorite ways to remineralize the body. (I will post on wheatgrass very soon so you will know just how much good you are doing for your body). You are on a right path. Just make sure you are drinking FRESH wheatgrass shots, not bottled, because the enzymes in wheatgrass are incredibly beneficial.

  27. This post is so true. It’s nice to mind only yourself, enjoying your alone time and caring only for your well-being. But of course, your own child is already a part of you. I guess anyone who already has his/her own child wouldn’t be able to fully be revirginized. However, renewing yourself and gaining freedom is very much possible.. :) Have a blessed day sis!

  28. Interesting topic! Haha!

    Kidding aside, tama yan mommy Pepper! As moms, we really need to take care of ourselves so we can take care those we love even better. Kasi when we choose to love ourselves, it extends to everyone eh. It’s contagious. Mortal sin na ngayon ang losyang na nanay. (Charing! LOL.)

  29. This days science is doing wonders..There is nothing that is not existing in our today’s life.

  30. I also have gone through the period known as “The Revirginiazation of Me.” It did feel good (and still does!), and I’m happy to be “back to myself,” so to speak.

    I’m happy for you. Although you miss your daughter (who wouldn’t?), time to yourself is so crucial.

  31. I feel the same way when my daughter is visiting her grandparents or at nursery school. I keep hearing that time to myself is important, but it just gets so old fast for me! I get depressed without her around, but at the same time when she gets back I am refreshed so I can be a better mom. So yeah, I guess there are pros and cons to them spending time away. Oh the emotional roller coaster that is motherhood!

  32. After laughing at the revirgination (however they spell it) no judging the women that do. I feel your pain about your daughter.. Hope she comes home soon.

  33. I envy you that you can do this a whole day or two…I can only have about 2 hours, haha!

  34. I feel like being alone is like a double edge sword. It’s so nice to not have to do anything for someone else, but it’s so lonely at the same time!

  35. I remember going through a similar stage of realisation like this. Good on you for feeling comfortable with it and enjoying it. It is a luxury that single parenting can sometimes afford.

  36. that perfect me-time! oh i really need one too soon. take care of yourself and stay pretty pepper!

  37. There’s a surgery to restore virginity? Sounds a little weird. =)

    Nowadays when the stress and tiredness gets to me, I too wish to revert back to the days when I had to take care of no one but myself. Selfish, I know, but it’s something I look back to fondly.

    Don’t get me wrong, though. I love my daughter tremendously and can’t imagine my life without her. But I just need a break now and again. =)

  38. No kids here, but I think its absolutely essential to have that ‘Me’ time. It only makes you a better person to give even more as a mother, daughter , friend too. Kudos !

  39. I don’t have kids but from what I see around me, moms need that “me” time to recharge not just physically but also emotionally and mentally, so indulge! :D

  40. This post made me smile too. I heard that there is a procedure. Anyway, whatever it is… there are other ways though to, may I say, revirginize ourselves though. :)

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