Of Motherhood and Bad Haircuts

Rain does have its way of washing away sorrow and ill feelings.  Heavy downpour dominated yesterday, flushing out negativity from my system, reassuring me of good things to come.  Ginormous raindrops virtually bathed my soul, leaving me with a sense of calm and overall order.

That sense of peace was suddenly jolted by an email from an old friend.  She felt like she was the worst mother on the face of the earth because of her daughter’s bad haircut.  While at the salon, my friend was so engrossed in the pages of a magazine, that she didn’t notice the hairstylist snipping away at her daughter’s hair, cutting it way too short.

What transpired next was a series of tears, blame and a remote control flying across the living room. Suffice it to say, my friend’s daughter wasn’t the least bit pleased at her haircut.  And she blamed her mom for it.  If she had a choice, she would have worn a lace front wig to fix things.  My friend tried her hardest to reassure her daughter that her hair will grow back, but that didn’t appease the furious 10-year old.   My friend sucked it all in, believing that she the lousiest mother ever.

I felt both of their pain.  I knew how horrible it felt to have a bad haircut, and I knew how even more horrible it felt to let your daughter down.

I just told my friend to let her daughter vent and express her anger.  Her feelings aren’t to be trivialized, because she has every right to feel that way.  But maybe her anger should be redirected elsewhere, and not at my friend.  Moms only want the best for their kids, and that hair disaster was anything but her fault.

I told her to tell her daughter about a similar hair catastrophe she may have had when she was in high school.  That way, the kid would know that that thing too shall pass, and they could just laugh at the situation.

And then I comforted my friend, reminding her that she was only human- that I’m only human.  Whatever mistake she felt she committed didn’t earn her the title “Worst Mom Ever”.  It’s these minor mishaps which make us wiser and add dimension to our personalities.  We stumble, shake it off, and go on with life.

At least now I know better not to take my daughter to THAT hairstylist from hell.

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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  1. Pepper you are a wonderful friend! My daughter had a cut shorter than she wanted, she was donating her hair and the hair dresser went really short. I took her out and bought her some blingy hairpins. Just a few weeks ago I got it in my head to cut my own hair very late at night after my shower. I did a great job nice and even only, I forgot to take in to consideration that I have curly hair when it dried it was much shorter, oops, it’ll grow.

    • Oh, blingy hairpins! What a great idea. I’ll tell my friend to get her daughter some of those. Thanks, Cheryl :)

  2. Good advice! I would say there are MUCH WORSE things than a bad haircut!

  3. I probably wouldn’t be able to suck that up, if I were in your friend’s shoes. Especially the flying remote control part. That was just too much. :(

  4. WOW I know how the Mom feels–at 10 isg EVERTHING becomes about how a girl looks and if it’s just not right all is doomed!! At least that what I feel with my daughter—I just remember something my Mom told me that someone said to her when I entered my teen years—IT’s NOT really them, chemically so many changes are happening that you just have to sort of pick you battles and if letting you kids be expressive and develop a thicker skin the time will come when this DISASTER will be something they laugh about—its just NOT NOW =)

  5. Awww you are a sweet friend to reassure her that she isn’t a bad mom because of an imperfect hair cut. I realize that the child is probably upset but as time passes the memories of the horrible hair cut will fade away. My dad took me to his barber shop one time and I wanted my hair short but not the way they cut it. It took a while for it to grow out but little did I know the hair cut made my hair come back super thick compared to the fine hair that I had before my hair cut. Never know what might happen :)

  6. Oh, funny. Hair cuts can make us so sensitive. I’m over that now:)

  7. Awww…. I remember my dad cutting my bangs at that age. He clipped a bunch together and it came out too short! I was horrified for weeks! lol! Now I really don’t care! lol!

  8. Motherhood has been very special for me since my childhood! I know my mom used to love me lot & still she loves me. This Article really made me remember my mom & her love :)

  9. The young girls take their appearance so much to heart, don’t they? I’m glad you were able to comfort your friend. I’ve had my daughter get mad at me over dumb things too…it passes. :)

    • Eek, Pepper I didn’t mean to word that wrong. I didn’t mean to sound harsh w/the word ‘dumb’ because I know how serious such things are to kiddos that age. I’m just old now and consider them irrelevant (though I’m still sensitive about it for the kids). My daughter would be mortified w/a bad haircut too, I’m sure of it. ;)

      • Ei Rosey, don’t worry about it :). Yup, kids magnify things out of proportion. I still do, at this age!

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