Two Things That Will Ruin Your Marriage (And It’s Not What You Think)


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When we think about reasons for splitting up, we tend to think about betrayal and infidelity. However, the following two habits will lead you straight to the divorce courts.


  1. Negativity


It’s easy to fall into this trap. We all strive for a good life, and we want to be happy. However, sometimes the everyday things get in the way and ruin this picture. You may be unhappy or unfulfilled at work. You may be living in a house or apartment that you don’t like. There are aspects of your relationship that you’re worried about. Often it’s the little things that mount up. Before you know it you’re feeling frustrated and uneasy. Everything seems to be going wrong.

Now would be a good time to take a step back, assess the situation and act accordingly. Instead, you moan about everything that is wrong in your life. As soon as your partner walks through the door you’re off and bitching about your crappy day. It gathers momentum, and you include him in your criticism. You argue, and you reel back everything little thing he’s done wrong since you met seven years ago. Do you recognise this picture?

And it doesn’t end there. You make up again, but this run of negativity continues and becomes a feature of your married life. Before you know it you’ll be seeking an attorney who specialises in divorce and family law.

Recognise what you’re doing and stop. Being aware of it is the first step. If there are aspects of your life that you’re unhappy with, then work through them and work out how to fix them. Talk it through with your partner. And if you find yourself about to enter into the negative zone, think about positive things that have happened instead. In fact, people who write down three positive things that have happened to them each day, report feeling happier.


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  1. Lack of Communication


A lack of communication in any relationship is always bad news. With your partner, it can be disastrous. It starts off small. Just little things like staring at your phone when you’re out on a date. Or, staring at the TV all night. It also manifests in other ways. If you feel your partner doesn’t listen to you then suddenly you stop asking. He is completely unaware of this. And it goes both ways, of course. Soon, neither of you know what the other is thinking and resentment builds.

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. Remember when you were dating, and you talked all night? It all seemed effortless back then. You didn’t even need to think about it. Talking came naturally. But when you’re in a long-term relationship and everyday life takes over, communication is something you need to work on.

Start by going on dates again. Find a time when you’re both free. Put your phones on silent and switch off any distractions. Take time to talk to your partner and listen to what he has to say. Really listen. If there are things that he needs from you, then try to oblige him. And vice versa.
Eradicating these habits from your life won’t make everything perfect, but it may just save your marriage. 

About Pepper

I am a single working mom, trying to raise my kid the best way I know how. Join me as I navigate my way through the jungle that is Single Mom-hood, armed with rose-colored glasses and strength of spirit. As pepper adds spice to food, so does my daughter add spice to my life. She makes life no less than…PEPPERRIFIC!

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  1. As a happily married for 20+ years I agree with you 100% on these two key issues. If you do your best to stay upbeat and find the good and then talk about the good, chances are your marriage will be good!

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